Sesat (blur~lost)

Today....

....I forgot to bring my wallet when I went to the bank to collect my cheque book.

....I forgot to bring my office tag when I headed to the office to hand in my CPA reenrolment form.

....I replied my SMS-es almost every five hours behind time. (hur hur....)

....and I said, "May I have some French Flies to the McDonald's dude at the counter, twice.



WoW.. what a day, Miranda..what a day... *ROTFL

the stool-turned-trusty table - "Mammut"

I just suddenly had a funny memory of remembering this little IKEA stool that I used to have with me back in Brisbane. I thought it was really pretty when I first saw it sitting at the shelves during my furniture shopping days before I moved into my own unit. By the looks of it, it just gave me this warm, happy feeling and so appealing to my eyes. I will just call him (don't mind me, I just thought it should be a "he" because of it's sturdiness that serves as its masculine effect. LOL..) Mammut, just like how IKEA calls him. It was AUD9.99 for one, then. Those were the days when I only had my mattress without the bed frames since never thought there's a need for one. It has indeed served me greatly as a bedside table where I used to conveniently rest my bible/books on after a good read before I hit the sack every night. My Dell laptop used to sit on it when used to work by my bed. It also served as my "shepherding session" table when Mel used to come over and we'll both be sitting on the carpeted floor with Mammut placed between the both of us as I rest my notebook on him scribbling down notes. I spent most of my quiet-time with him too. Times when I knelt before the Lord and rested my eldows on him to pray, times when I was inspired to scribble down notes, thoughts, aspirations, hopes, dreams.... Mammut's been a great company....ahh, those were fond memories.

Couldn't bring Mammut 1 & 2 (yeah, I had 2 of them.... I like extras for the things I love... hehe! ) with me when I left Brissy so I gave them away to good, trusty hands. One's with my ex-fluffy sheep. Stuck a note at the bottom of it sharing my blessings that this stool will continue to serve as a sturdy notebook-supporter during shepherding times with her future sheeps~!! The other one should be supporting.... Didi's keyboard, me thinks! Unless it went elsewhere... *LoL*. Di, Any new songs composed lately, dear? I wanna hear! :P

Kinda miss having Mammut around me.
Maybe this can stay in my Christmas wish-list for now. =)

Sucked dry and replenishing...

I had a very unusual experience just last night. Something in my heart felt burdensome. I couldn't really describe what is this that's trying to cry out of my head. I feel like I am tapped out. Pick your metaphor of mental and physical exhaustion and that’s me. Whenever I start to feel this way, it's funny but I feel that this feeling just builds up its intensity on its own. I know I haven't been sharing much lately, there's so much to say but few that words can speak of it all. Over the recent months, God has placed a certain burden in my heart to initiate something. I am not sure how, where, and when... I have thinking so much about it till seems like carrying this "load" has really consumed me and I feel like I've sucked myself dry. I was so unaware of what I got myself into until I started to talk it out with a friend and thank God for awesome brothers and sisters in Christ who are there to really pinch me out of my ignorant attitude of taking matters into my own hands.

God truly is in the business of working through his people to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. Indeed it's about shaping of personality characteristics, experiences and downfalls etc that prepares one for His purpose. I am drawn and inspired by the character of Nehemiah when he had such a great burden and concern about the fate of Jerusalem. Yes, the need to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem but right from the beginning to the end, he sought the Lord through prayers for help. Prayer is indeed still that fundamental untwisted-by-man's ways in releasing His plans and purposes. I've been reminded that prayer and actions go hand and hand. Through prayer, God will guide our preparation, teamwork , and diligent efforts to carry out His will.

I have learned my lesson. Surrender is the word. I have released this matter back to God with a prayer. Don't overtake God, slow down, listen to your navigator before hitting the accelerator. Let Him lead and only then His plan will prevail. Speak when the time is right, for your servant will be listening. Amen.

Did I really get to choose?

PS: Don't know why, but the fonts just come out funny... Can't resize the fonts properly and I am just too much of a noob with HTML errors to get it fixed!! HAHA... Don't mind the weirdly-sized fonts, ya??? :P

--------------------------------

I'm currently on my study break since Thursday this week till the end of the month. What a relief from the days of working late and meeting deadlines. To be honest, I never thought that I'd be revisiting the times when I had to slog under lecture notes and saying 'hello' to mixed emotions of walking into the exam halls again. I remember the times back in my Uni days when I came to a conclusion that I am not cut out for dealing with numbers. I wanted out from Accounting. I was close to throwing in the towel. It's funny how things never quite turn out the way I thought it would be. Here I am, working in one of the top business services firm in the world, pursuing my CPA professional qualification.

Yes, there were occasional moments when I still ask myself why did I choose to contradict my words but as strange at it may sound, I have witnessed in so many ways how my decisions and crossroads have been guided by God, even way before I even knew who He really is in my life! Hence this brought me to believe that there's ought to be a reason why I have this paper qualification in my hands. It cannot be an accident. I have gone through a period of seeking and praying for my career path. I never quite like the idea of facing choices, which often makes me wonder about the analogy of God giving us "free-will" to choose. Knowing that God is one who's omniscient, if God knows what we are going to choose in the future, then do we really have free-will in the first place? Does that puzzle you? Being a thinker, it took me quite a while but I have came to realise that it seems that God knowing what we are going to do does not mean that we can't do something else. It simply means that God knows what we have chosen to do ahead of time. Our freedom is not restricted by God's foreknowledge but is simply just realised ahead of time by God. Due to the fact that it is His nature to know all things, His knowlwdge is necessarily complete and exhaustive, and because of that, He has ordained history to come to the conclusion that He wishes, incorporating our choices into His divine plan.

So, yeah... my decision is to give it a go. I chose to challenge myself to do something I think I cannot do. That's when my faith and dependency on Him is really put to test. God has impressed certain things in my heart about reaching out in the corporate marketplace. I don't really know where to begin with but I am entrusting this decision into His hands. No doubt that He has already written the whole story in His plan and wow, I thought it's quite exciting to think in a way that I get to "co-write" this story with Him because I participated in the decision-making part. *LoL* Does that make any sense to you? :P

Just a few days ago, I was contemplating whether I should attend a post-assignment dinner with my workmates because it's on a Friday, which means I gotta forgo being at cellgroup. My decision -- I joined the dinner. Last Sunday, I remember picking up a few brochures of the stage drama that's coming up next week at church. I handed out a few to my colleagues at the dinner and I sure hope that they will choose to come to hear the underlying message shared in the drama.
So this is one of the free-will moments I went through... I could have been at cellgroup fellowshipping with my cellmates and also feed myself with the Word, as always. But this time, I felt that desiring to walk my talk about sharing His love, I thought I should go beyond by stepping across the bridge and reaching at the other side. It is about bringing His love outside of church walls! Having a hearty meal with my colleagues sure will be even tastier and worth it!

So... here's an ad that I 'stole' from church's website about the drama:

"Crazy Little Thing Called Love"

Performed by : Footstool Players
Date: 18 October 2008, Saturday
Time: 5.00-7.30pm
Venue: SIBKL, Main Auditorium

About the stage play....

The old song says that "love is a many- splendoured thing", but reality tells us that "love" can be bittersweet.

For its 2008/2009 season, Footstool Players is proud to present Crazy Little Thing Called Love: poignant portraits of the ties that bind – and sometimes knot – in a collection of sketches pertaining to the themes of love, courtship, marriage and family relationships.

The play features a mix of comedy and drama, but all thought-provoking in some way in highlighting issues pertaining to relationships. There's innocence, idealism, joy, humour, reassurance, hope, regret, heartbreak, sorrow, and more – everything that comes with that "crazy little thing called love"!

You'll laugh, you'll weep. But most importantly, you'll also think – and perhaps also discover.

--------------------------

I should be in bed now... I need motivation to pick up the momentum to study... gaaahahaha.... someone please pray with me! Laterz, everyone...!

The Mobile phone vs The Bible

I was at New Life class last Sunday before church service and Ps Chee Wai recapped on last week's lesson about the Bible being a fundamental tool in a Christian believer's life. Interestingly, he gave this little handout to a few of us which wrote this:-

The Mobile phone vs The Bible

I wonder what will happen if we treat our bible like we treat our mobile phone?

What if we carry it around in our handbags or pockets?
What if we refer to it several times a day?
What if we turn back to get it if we forget it?
What if we use it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treat it as if we cannot live without it?
What if we give it to our children as a gift?
What if we use it when we travel?
What if we use it in case of emergency?

Unlike our mobile phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being "disconnected" because of the unpaid bill...
Jesus has already paid the bill in full.

And just think....~~~~ NO MISSED CALLS!!!

GOD HEARS THEM ALL!!! :DD

sick..

Had a tough weekend trying to survive through a migraine and sore throat...
Took a day off work today to recover.

Please pray for this sick cow...(hehe...)

wishlist:
I want some hot manuka honey with lemon juice...



back to work tomorrow.

I just wanna say...

...been looking everywhere for this:--->

How come I don't see it anywhere in Malaysia????!!
Totally regret not getting this when I used to see it hanging around everywhere in Valleygirl and Temt back in Australia....

Heh... just one of those girly stuff that I have on my wish-list.
Still looking....

Penang for the long weekend...

It's Merdeka Day (National Independence Day) on Sunday so we've got an extra public holiday here in Malaysia this Monday. I bought bus tickets to get back to Penang to spend the long weekend with Mummy.

Arrived Penang at around 4-ish in the afternoon. Tagged along with Mummy to do some grocery shopping at Sunshine Farlim. It's been a long time since we last went to Sunshine Farlim to do our groceries ever since Tesco opened in Gelugor almost more than a year ago. Walking down those familiar aisles, hearing the voice of the announcer on loudspeakers in Hokkien, seeing the same man sitting at the entrance selling lottery tickets, really brought me down memory lane to the days when I used to happily volunteer myself to get up early every Friday mornings to accompany Mummy for grocery shopping at that same place. I enjoy being with Mummy at supermarkets. I like observing how she organises her trip to supermarkets, with her shopping list in her hands, carefully ticking off what to get, meticulously picking her choices off the shelves, etc. On the other hand, I'd be the one pushing the cart tagging her at every corner of the supermarket. I don't think she knows why I do what I do, besides wanting to learn how to pick good fruits and veggies and observing the looks of some raw ingredients, I like pushing the cart because I want to be around her. Mummy's not very expressive with her words, so I guess my longing to spend that quality time with her would usually be the grocery shopping times that I spend with her. In return, I give her the "acts of service" love language that speaks to her most.

Feels good to be at home after 2 whole months of being away. Mummy made curry puffs specially for me. I'm a fan of her curry puffs ever since the first time I tasted them when I was a kid. Hehe... I literally threw out the usual thought of being conscious of what I put through to my mouth. I gobbled down about 6 of them at one go when arrived home.
I was also spoilt with Herbal soups, lots of mooncakes, fresh carrot juices (I miss!!) and herbal tea eggs. Thanks, Yummy Mummy!! =D

The rain's falling angrily on the roofs now. Perfect time to cuddle in my favourite quilt and catch some sleep. Laterz!

Reordering disorders

I've been challenged a lot to keep up with time and am feeling like as though I'm so far behind from where I thought I should be. Work's been challenging. Still trying to find my way around checking other people's work. At least that's what my job scope requires of me. I've got a weakness. I tend to set expectations on myself but the other side of me thinks that I cannot do it. Often enough I visualise a devil with 2 horns on the left of my head, saying to me, "Yes, it's very hard and not easy. You're right. You're slow. You can't, can't cant." On the other side, I picture an angel with a halo on his head cheering me on saying, "Your confidence is in Christ. You can, can, can!"(*LoL* so yeah, I watched a lot of Looney Tunes when I was a kid.). Although I know which side I should follow, I can't seem to bring my flesh to follow that voice. This confusion in my head has been stressing me up a lot and I've been losing my focus. I feel disorganised, wobbly and shaken. I don't know where to begin with.

Disorder spells stress, and stress is one thing you can designate as the opposite of peace. I get stressed when I don't know how to do something. Or, I'm not sure I know how to do something, which somewhat describes how I feel half of the time at work. As I was spending my devotional time with God today, I was reminded of one of God's characteristics. The Bible says that, "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." (1 Corinthians 14:33). Very true. I do realise that I have been rather disorganised at work and figured I had to improve in prioritising what needs to be done first. There's always an order to getting things done efficiently. Order is good.

Indeed, thank God for that simple reminder of Himself. What a pleasure to know that He surely is constantly giving me more information about how to do my job of living at peace.

Ahh......... what a relieve. It'll get better. =)

2 more weeks to go till I finish my first assignment. I'm almost there!!! whooppie doohoo!

The office building in USJ for the past 2 months ++

My nomadic workstation

Poo Ling and I...--we share our laughters, burdens, datelines together.....

Been a while.

Been a while since my last post. No doubt that I cannot stop the clock from ticking but I'd still like to believe that I am in control of time. Well, my own time, at least. Yes, I have been quite occupied. Someone once said that almost more than 70 percent of your lifetime is spent at your workplace. I very well am experiencing the underlying truth behind this statement. Been fully utilizing my weekends with activities -- random walks at the malls alone, meals with friends, jungle trekking with cell mates, Inter-Accounting Firm Games Tennis match for the past few weeks.... to add to that, PwC are the Champions this time!! Whooppiee doo hooo!! Didn't participate in any of the matches (I'm a reserve in the team) but I was a participant in the *ahem* "cheerleading team"! *LoL*... go go PwC!!

Oh, forgot to mention that Papa & Mummy came down to KL about a week ago. It was the first time seeing Mummy ever since I started my job. Mummy looks fantastic! Truly, I can see how God has covered and blessed her so greatly through and through. Parents came down to clean up our new home so that new curtains can go up. The house is almost ready already, just some final touch-ups needed. Went furniture shopping at Harvey Norman's and got all of our beds and white-goods already. I realised that I have been sleeping on hard mattresses all my life and this time, I decided to opt for a softer bed because I felt that I fancied the foamy, bouncy feeling on softer beds and I liked the feeling of snuggling in like a cocoon under my comforter..HEhh! Oh yeah, gotta say I love the new Fridge, too! Shall take a photo of it and post it up just for kicks when it arrives within a month's time. It won't be too long before I move into this new home, I hope! That will mark another chapter of new beginnings for me and the whole family when everyone's ready to move in.

On a side note, how did the last weekend go? It turned out to be one that I had more time to myself. Had the itch to get out of the house and that got me wishing that Brisbane river were still a stone's throw away so that I could just put on my sports gear, strap on my ipod and go for a joy run.... (or rather, walk.. *LoL*.). Been fed enough with horrendous news about women being raped or even losing their lives going around KL neighbourhoods unaccompanied had sorta instilled phobia in me, so I felt that it's not the wisest thing to do. I got pretty fidgety at home that I even wished that my dumbbells were lying around here so that I could do some reps to pump up the adrenaline in me a bit. Sadly, I ended up bumming on my bed snooping around Facebook photos for cheap thrills. Talk about being ultimately unproductive. =__=

Aiks, I forgot I could have rang Mal up to arrange for a meet-up.. GAhH!!... **

More exciting days to come... heh.

Another day...

Am I at a point of no improvement? I try to move forward but I can't seem feel like there's any movement. It's like a car with its wheel stuck in the mud, I feel. I can imagine myself grabbing my head and screaming out loud..."What's wrong with me? Ah, stop thinking of the impossibilities!" Frustrated, disappointed and tired, I wonder, can I make it through this?
All I feel is condemnation. I only hear, " I can't, I can't, I can't."

Yes, perhaps you are right. I can't, but I know Jesus can.

I am small, I am limited. I am searching for that confidence that I have misplaced. Let me sweep up all my insufficiencies and place it at His feet.
Reaching the finishing line will be worth it because that's when I'll know, I couldn't have done it without Him.


"I can do everything through him who gives me strength. "- Phil 4:13

Desperation

Had a massive headache towards evening time at work, texted my prayer partner and got her to pray against the migraine. Went off and played a few strokes of tennis for Inter-Accounting Firm Games. Contemplated excusing myself from cheering for the team but when the Executive Director, Managing Director and a few Partners of the firm showed up towards the end of the match, looks like I was meant to stay. "Unity," He whispered. It rained and the final match was put on hold. We resumed the match indoors. The victory of the last stroke was sweet and we beat the defending champions by straight sets.

It was almost 10.00pm. "Should I go?" I thought. The headache was slowing subsiding. I knew that someone must be praying for me. "Unity -- you are not excluded," He whispered. I bade my goodbyes to my mates and dashed off. Every traffic lights turned green as I passed, as if He was saying, "Make way!". 10.15pm, I arrived. 30 minutes of standing in unison with the church for the nation, is more than enough. Desperation. Just a glimpse of you, that's all I need. I am in this. I am part of the desperate people.

"Desperate People"

You cross the great divide, You took our place
You offered up Your life, for we have failed
The veil was torn and love remained
You are holy Lord

Distraction costs us, how we seek Your face
We offer up our lives to bring You praise
A love the walls cannot contain
You are holy Lord

We're rising up in spirit and in truth
A living sacrifice we worship You
People undivided Lord hear us sing
We are Yours and You are our King

This is our love
Hearts joined as one
Desperate for all You are
Lord break down these walls
And see how we love
Desperate for all You are
We chase Your heart

We didn't come to leave here entertained
Or worship under any other name
We're crying out for You alone
You are holy Lord

We're rising up in spirit and in truth
A living sacrifice we worship You
People undivided Lord hear us sing
We are Yours and You are our king

This is our love
Hearts joined as one
Desperate for all You are
Lord break down these walls
And see how we love
Desperate for all You are
We chase Your heart

Show us the way to Your heart

We found our voice
We found our cause
We're on our knees, the carpet's worn
We join our hearts
With distant shores sing to You Lord

This is our love
Hearts joined as one
Desperate for all You are
Lord break down these walls
And see how we love
Desperate for all You are
This is our love
Hearts joined as one
Desperate for all You are
Lord break down these walls
And see how we love
Desperate for all You are
We chase your heart
We chase your heart



National Evangelical Christian Fellowship (NECF) 40 days of fasting and praying.
Starts today.
Fight like a man, get on your knees and pray.

I need You now.

"I've dug up miles and miles of sand
Searching for something I can't see
And I've just got bruised and battered hands
And a brand new void inside of me
Complete with walls I did create
From all the earth that I've displaced
A mess that I have made from what
I've just let pile and pile up
I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything, everything I need

Explore the cave that is my chest
A torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please!"
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything, everything I need

When my hopes seem to dangle
Somewhere just beyond my reach
You say you've heard my prayers
And read my words there on repeat

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything, everything I need".


Just a little something echoing my mind.

I wish I knew

I wish I knew...
I wish I could catch up a little faster...
If I knew, I wouldn't fear so much...
If only I knew how to fight this battlefield in my mind...

hear me out.
help.

What I have been up to...

Hehe.. thought I should break the dry-spell on my blog.

I've got a lot to share but at the moment, I can't spill it out in words, probably because it's already 2.00am in the morning.
Just a little update on what's been going on...

....I have settled in a church.

....auditing one of the largest companies in Malaysia now. I get home at about 10pm almost every night.

....going for missions trip at Pekan, Pahang to provide English lessons to the "Orang Asli"s (lit, "original peoples" or "aboriginal peoples" in Malay) kids. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning and will be back on Sunday night. (shall blog more on this when I have the time. Watch out for the post!)

wookays, that's about it for now.
I'm off to bed. Getting up early to pack for the trip.

Pray for the spirit to empower me. Good night.

Yes, I cakap (speak) Malay, too! =D

Recently read a blog entry by a fellow bro-in-Christ who's been quite busy gobbling away in Singapore. (TEHHEHEE...~~~ watch the weight, bro!!)
Anyway, as I tend to visualize quite a fair bit, I guess when he got me imagining what it'll feel like sitting by the beach reflecting over the past experiences of our own lives, it didn't take me long to spot my most recent 'ah I know why' moment!

About experience with my current client so far, I'm currently assigned to a company whose staff are 80% Malays. I wasn't too comfortable with the idea at first, especially because I have communicate with them in Malay. During that one week of work at my client's office, I confess that I have been whinging a lot to myself about being 'disadvantaged' because I have to adapt to their preferred language. As I was sharing my dissatisfaction to my aunt recently, a revelation suddenly crossed my mind and it really blew me away!

My 'ah I know why' moment came to past when I recalled the time when I went to a hospital visitation at a paediatric ward with my church mates. Majority of the patients converse in Malay as most of them were either Malays or native East Malaysians. I had to share the gospel and pray in Malay for their sake. My partner, Jo couldn't speak Malay very well so I had to help her in translation. I wasn't too good at sharing in that language and honestly, I felt lost for words when I prayed. At that time, I really felt that I needed to surrender my mouth to the Lord to anoint my lips and the words that were spoken, although they were just simple words. However, I still wished that I could have done better.

It really got thinking about how self-centered I am about wanting to have things my way all the time. It's like as if I would prefer to do the things I am called to do only if it's easy. If only my clients would communicate with me in English, I think I would work more effectively. If only everyone in the face of the earth speaks English, sharing the gospel would have been more effective. Do these sound familiar to you? The question is, do I really get to choose my ways? Was the world created to fit my comfortable shell? Not that all. I was brought to remember in Matthew 24 about the signs of the end of age when Jesus said that the gospel of the kingdom must be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations before the Son of Man returns. The phrase 'all nations' caught my attention. It triggered to me that if I don't change this attitude of mine, I'll be a stumbling block in the work of God. The unreached are usually the ones who don't speak "our language". Just because it's harder to communicate, sometimes we choose to forget about them. If majority of us are thinking that way, aren't we just slowing down the process of getting the most important "task" done? Effective, we say? You see the irony?



So, the highlight of this whole post is....

"Ah.... I know why I'm posted to this client now. I am supposed to improve in my Malay so I can share the gospel in Malay!"

Hehe.. I'll be posted in this company till end of August. So, I have got 2 more months to practice. :P


"Makcik, pernah dengar pasal Jesus? Nak tahu kenapa Jesus cintamu?"
(Aunty, ever heard of Jesus? Wanna know why he loves you?)


*LoL*.... I'm still learning... trying to improve!!!


Here are some photos of the hospital visitation trip that I 'stole' off someone's Facebook. Heh.

This is Jo, with baby Ivy who was admitted due to chest infection.
I hope you're well now, cutesy!

My girls cellmates who came for the hospital visitation.


The girls again, with all the gifts for the kids.

Have I got a long way to run....

Are these times contagious
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize Ive waited for
Now with the hours passing
Theres nothing left here to insure
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run

Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now, in this world of purchase
Im going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run
Yeah, I run

Have I got a long way
Have I got a long way
Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run

Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)
Yeah, I run (have I got a long way to run)

-Collective Soul-

This song echoed in my head today for a strange reason. My mind's sorta rediscovering my days back in the 90s, I suppose. Collective Soul is reminiscent of high school days. I recalled how lost I was in the midst of learning to know myself and what's the world gotta do with me. Though not Christian band, now that I thought back of what the writer wrote, much of Collective Soul’s imagery could come from the pages of the Bible. Not only did the lyrics make me think but I think they actually make me feel. Perhaps, just perhaps.. this band did somewhat lead me to my journey in finding the gateway to meeting with the Creator.

.....I'm not bored anymore.

.....I found the prize I've been waiting for.

.....there IS a cure among us.

.....Yes, I still got a long way to run.

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. - 1 Corinthians 9:24

14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:14

Dear Jesus,

Nothing beats the joy of finding what I've been looking for through You. Yes, I am lifting my feet to run heavenwards. Sometimes my feet gets heavy but I know you're lifting me. Please never let me lose sight of the direction you're pointing at for me. I'm on my way...

Love,
Mir.

Yeahh!! He did it again!

Officially started my first assignment at client's office. By the grace of the Man upstairs, my client's office is just down at Taipan.. which is within the same district where I live in. Yippie!! I can wake up an hour later!! Nyehh heh..

Work ended late on the first day, I got home at 10pm. It's peak period, so...mm hmm :)

Papa rang that night to arrange a dinner meeting with me the next night as he was gonna be around town. At that point, I felt that I couldn't promise him anything because I may work late, again. I really, really wanted me to meet with Papa since I missed his Birthday and Father's Day celebration altogether. I had something ready for him as a present. Being the good ol' Miss Practicality at her best, I got him a Dymo labelling machine. (those who know how much it costs, *SHhhHhhh!!!* He doesn't know the price and it's meant to be secret!! Well, unless he bothers to google it, then... whatever la!)

So... did I end u at dinner in the end??? Well.. the answer is....

......

......

....YES!

Actually, the highlight of this blog is to record down my praises to Him for hearing my heart again-- for allowing me to get off work extremely early today!! There was nothing much to be done towards the end so we were allowed to leave. We were even surprised that we get to see the sun when we got off.... haha!! :P

Anyway, it was a good time spent with Papa. Like I said before, I feel so blessed to have a father with such a great heart for his children. We had Korean for dinner. I'm utterly bad at blogging about the things I eat (that's Charis's forte :P), so... I'll let this photo do the talking.

TADDA!!!

There was only 2 of us but I think the amount we ordered was enough to feed a horse!!!

Speaking of food, met up with Bebe last weekend and we sure did have an exciting ride in the dark alleys of Kuala Lumpur with my very, very temperemental GPS. I paid 2 frigging tolls just to get to 1 Utama from Midvalley...=SSSS Anyways, we had Bak Kut Teh for dinner at SS4 area and the Singaporean gang bought a whole lot of bak kut teh spices back which I think can feed the whole population of Singapore. *LoLLL*

The time spent was invaluable, Bebe!! It'll be your turn to be the tour guide if I visit Singapore end of this year!! Sorry la, my tour guide skill is close to being as lost as a Singaporean.. paiseh! :P

All in all, I had a good weekend. =)

How much does happiness/satisfaction cost???

Last Friday, was at a meet-the-managers dinner with my fellow division team mates. I like meeting people, so I was looking forward to it. Didn't quite know what to expect out of a dinner night with bosses but since they've been hanging in this line for so long, I thought there's ought to be some good impartation that may feed my mind to convince me that it's still possible to have a balanced lifestyle and not perceiving this career path as one that is doomed to social suicide for the next few years. =SS

The dinner became somewhat like a mini-informal interview with the Managers. The usual questions were asked:

"Where are you from?"
"Why did you choose to be in the accounting line?"
"Do you play any sports?"

etc...

I sorta imagined myself being in a third party's shoe envisioning the scene at the dinner table. Funny how we just laugh at things that are not deemed to be very funny just to keep the atmosphere alive. Seems like it usually happens at meetings with superiors, eh? Weird, lah!!

I was just 2 seats away from the manager, so I decided to throw him some questions. I asked him what drives him to stay at where he is now. He said, money and the satisfaction. He mentioned that he loves watches and cars and he loves shopping a lot. He works for the money to achieve the satisfaction of owning the things that he desires for. I asked another manager the same question, his answer was the money, too.

When I heard those answers, I was deeply disappointed and I became frustrated in the spirit. Indeed, I am in no position to judge their decisions and lifestyle, but what got me thinking is that, whoa, look at the world today, people gain their satisfaction through material things. It seems like as though life is all about me, myself and I. There are so many people out there filled in their pockets, if only their money were put to good use in the kingdom of God. There are actually some trained Pastors in Sabah waiting to be sent out to mission-fields but they lack the finances -- all they need is at least RM6,000 a year. And how much have we blessed wealthy people squandered our finances in unnecessary things like a RM6,000 watch just so that we can keep ourselves happy for that one second when we look at the time?? I wished I could just scream at their faces telling them that there's more to life than just self-satisfaction. I observed around the restaurant, I even prayed in my heart, wishing that someone would share that agony of frustration over this matter. I seriously wonder, who's with me?

Indeed, God has brought some comfort to me through my dearest covenant friend when I read one of her recent blog entries. I thank God for reminding me that someone is standing in unison to my thoughts and beliefs and I am of course, not gonna be alone in this. I quote from her blog:

"....How normal the desire for that kind of life can appear to be. How quickly when we take our eyes off God and out of the Bible, we can buy into the lies that this life is about ME.
How scary is it that we can quickly become accustomed to such values and morals and see those things as acceptable.
How normal co-habitation seemed to be. How normal adultery seemed to be. How normal it is to place value on emotions over commitment and Biblical convictions. How normal it is to place value on the exterior beauty over internal beauty.
How foreign Biblical principles such as purity seemed to be. How non-existent it was the concept of God and purpose in life! How non-existent the concept of living for something other than yourself.
How normal it was to pursue the happiness, the needs and wants of ME.

....this life is NOT about me. It’s not about the perfect life that I deserve and should have. It’s not just about making money, staying thin and beautiful, marrying the perfect husband, and having the perfect 2.1 kids or whatever it is.
I was reminded that that’s NOT the legacy I want to leave. That’s NOT how I want to spend my life. Despite what the world says, we are all sinners, lost in sin. I didn't deserve anything, but Jesus created, pursued and saved me. This life is His. So I’m willing to give that all up to fulfill His purpose in my life. I don’t want to be caught up in this world- but to be focused on the one to come."

Her sharing truly reinforces my beliefs in being in the world but not of the world. I wanna live a God-satisfied life but not a self-satisfied life!!!

Cait, I so wanted to hug and kiss you when I read that entry. HAHA!!! Really needed to hear that from someone else. Thank you for being there, though in a subtle, unintentional manner!! Well, I guess it was intentional by our Daddy in Heaven, anyway. *giggles* Indeed we are not covenant friends for nothing. =D

So, is anyone else with us??? XD

Happy Birthday, 第第!!!

My sister, Mel, made this card. Nice, eh??

Have a great one this year, my dear brother.

Who Am I?

Can't comprehend why, but I somehow sense in my heart that someone's gotta hear this song. Although I may have heard this song many, many times. It always brings me back to that first love I experienced with the Loving One. Whoever you are, be blessed.


Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

-by Casting Crowns

I love to PRAISE the Almighty!!!

Due to bad time management and being inexperienced in gauging travel time needed for the past few Sunday Services, I have been coming in late and usually, I will miss out on the Praise session. I do sense the "missing puzzle" every time I leave service. The feeling of emptiness does stay throughout the week! I miss... I miss... I miss.....

Amazingly, God made me the happiest girl alive last Saturday. Remember I mentioned about gate-crashing a church camp??? Yup, I so did. I gave these bunch of people a pleasant surprise! :P

The best part is, the presence of God was so strong in the hall... it was like having the "time of my life" dancing before the Lord together with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ!!! Talk about God hearing my whines over the nitty-gritties. That really did compensate for the 3-week of missed Praise sessions!!


Praise the LORD! Praise God in His sanctuary; Praise Him in His mighty expanse. Praise Him for His mighty deeds; Praise Him according to His excellent greatness. Praise Him with trumpet sound; Praise Him with harp and lyre. Praise Him with timbrel and dancing; Praise Him with stringed instruments andpipe. Praise Him with loud cymbals; Praise Him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!

Psalm 150

Thank you, Jesus!! =D

Silver spoon in my mouth...

Have you ever felt guilty of having the silver spoon fed into your mouth?? Well, I do. Very often, in fact! It kinda started off when a cheeky colleague of mine started a random chat with me during our social bowling outing on Friday night. He said something like this,

"Whoa.. you ahh, must be a rich kid's daughter, right? So fashionable, carry expensive phone....you're like from high society type. Everything must be just a platinum credit card swipe away, right???"

............ =__=


Seriously, it made me pondered what actually gave him that impression. Now that brought be through a guilt trip to look back upon my life in how things are given to me although I never quite desired for it. Truthfully, what he said is kinda..quite true. =S


...Papa got me a phone I never desired for. Don't really appreciate it as much as others do. And beats me why some people are dying to own it. *shrug*

...Papa serviced the car and changed all tyres for me before I drove down to KL.

...When I first arrived KL, I got rather worried about surviving on KL road directions on my own. I prayed *Walla!!*...Papa bought a GPS System from his Singapore trip because it was on promotional price when he was at Sim Lim Square. He loan it to me to make sure I don't end up in Timbuktu while driving. (HAHA..... surprise!! Now you know my secret to my *ahem* direction skills in KL. Think my sense of direction so good??? NAH~~~ !! =P)

...Tolls in KL are everywhere. Seriously, it's just super duper expensive to survive here--Especially on the road. I was grumbling in my heart thinking about the massive cost and before I know it, Papa actually stopped by the toll plaza office and got me a Smart Tag (it's a little censor machine that reads prepaid toll cards) and topped up lotsa $$$ into the card, too!

Honestly, I sometimes still struggle over my life of privilege. Aren't I spoiled to the brim or what? What did I do to deserve it and, worst of all, how much of it have I squandered without a care in the world? While I enjoyed this life of privilege, it was ultimately at the expense of Papa's hard work.

While driving back from work in the midst of the traffic jam yesterday, something kinda came across my mind. I thought, I am too loaded not to do something with what I have. In a very funny way, I started singing that Hillsong song, "so blessed, I can't contain it, so much a gotta give it away...your love has taught me to live now... you are more than enough for me!!" *LoL* Passing drivers must be thinking this girl must be super high on.. something. YAH!! I am high on God's blessings, man!!!

Yes, I am different. Yes, no doubt I am privileged. Yes, I have access to opportunities that others do not. Like Shakespeare said - "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players." The ultimate tragedy is for me to deny my character and waste my purpose in God's stage play.

Coincidentally, I browsed through a random blog online today and found something reassuring and affirmative to my thoughts. It's an exerpt from Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech when he was elected President of South Africa:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be fabulous, brilliant, talented, gorgeous? Actually, who are you not to be, you are a child of God and playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, like children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in every one of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give people permission to do the same."

FOoH Laa.. So convicted to do something. My hands are itching...
God has given me an opportunity to join a hospital visitation this coming Saturday with a group of church mates. First time experience. This is gonna be exciting. I'd love to learn from the experienced ones. I so..so...soo...wanna be an impacter!!

So, what about you? Got anything on your list to polish that shine, lately?

Thirsty, anyone??

My division Senior Manager sent the new Associates an email requesting for a brief write-up about ourselves to be put up at the division portal for the rest of the team to get to know us. He wanted the write-up to be as creative as possible and also, include a candid photo of ourselves. Here's what I came up with:-

Wanna hear about the wonders of 'Connection'?

Have you ever drank Mirinda Orange? Meet MirAnda. She's only slightly different in spelling, but she somewhat resembles Mirinda Orange because its process of becoming such a yummylicious drink is similar to her journey of being part of PwC. She graduated from University of Queensland in 2006 and obtained work experience in Australia as an Accounts Payable Officer for about a year. She came back to Malaysia in search of a new connection and saw it in PwC. Their ConnectedThinking* not only clicked in loving the colour Orange but also being unconventional in perspective. She believes in not being a stereotyped dull Auditor and thinks that people dealing with accounts can be exciting and fun, too! She loves music, the beach, the gym, church, outdoor activities and traveling. Her journey of adventure here has just begun and is looking to get connected with the rest of the team out there. Wanna know how it feels like being drunk? You ask a bottle of Miranda. Get the twist? (Disclaimer: I'm allergic to alcohol. =P)

That's me in my company T-shirt and notebook in my hand.

....

....

.... I checked the portal today and turns out that I was the only one who squeezed out some "Orange juice" off my brain to come up with this. Most people just wrote a simple introduction of themselves. Accks..

So, do I get a prize for embarrassing myself on this one??? iiiisshhh....~~~

Gone are the days of idling...

That's right!! I'm starting work tomorrow! Firstly, will be heading off Port Dickson for a one-night induction retreat.

Not gonna blog much now. Gotta wake up early the next day to catch a train to my office by 7.30pm sharp.

Keep me in prayer. I need energy to keep my spirits up for the next 2 weeks' of orientation and training.

Good night, everyone! :)

Are you a promise keeper?

I was at Subang Parade (it's a mall) today. Being at Subang Parade reminded me of an incident which happened a month back when I was here in KL lodging with my relatives during my interview week.

Remember I mentioned before that I have been watching heaps of Taiwanese dramas over the weekdays with my Mum? Well, I kinda continued on following the series while I was down here in KL with my relatives. My 8-year-old cousin, Debra got a little curious and started to sit in with me so we watched the 6pm drama on AEC together. She's rather talkative by nature, so unsurprisingly, she bombarded me with heaaaaaps of questions about the drama.

"Jiejie... why did that man fight with the other man?"
"Jiejie... why these 2 men like the same girl?"
"Jiejie... what are gangsters??"

etc..etc..etc....

HAHA... yeshhh, I was patient enough to explain the details to her. Anyway, that's kinda besides the point :PP. When the show ended, she told me that she wanted to continue watching the series together with me. So, I said to her that I will accompany her watching the series the next day, same time at 6pm.

I went to Subang Parade the next day for a walk around just for the sake of getting out of the house. I like the fact that I was alone in the mall, taking my time browsing through every nook and cranny of the mall. Then, I heard my mobile ringing. It was Debra.

Debra: "Hello... jiejie!! It's almost 6 o'clock. Where are you??"

Me: "I'm at Subang Parade. Why?"

Debra: "Uhh....the 6 o'clock show is going to start soon. You promised me that we're gonna watch it together, remember?"

Me: "Oh no....yeah, but jiejie forgot. I don't think I can come back on time for the show. D'you mind watching it by yourself?"

Debra: "But I don't understand Hokkien and my Malay is not good enough to read the subtitles. You need to explain the show to me, remember???" Haihh... It's ok. I'll just skip the show."

Me: "You sure?? I'm so sorry..."

Debra: "It's ok... I'll see you later then"

Both of us: "Bye."

Gosh... I felt utterly guilty after hanging up the line. Honestly, when I told Debra that I'll watch the show with her the next day, I didn't quite take my word seriously. I have to admit that it was plainly because I was talking to an 8-year-old. I didn't expect her to take my word for it. I figured that most likely she'd forget what I said by the next day, assuming that kids' got short attention span anyway. Man, I was so wrong. There was this tugging by the Holy Spirit in me reminding me of a few verses about being a promise-keeper. One that clearly stood out in my mind was this:

21 If you make a vow to the LORD your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the LORD your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. 22 But if you refrain from making a vow, you will not be guilty. 23 Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth.

Deuteronomy 23:21-23

It was such a big ouch for me during that moment. It made me think of all the promises I've made before the Lord. Those moments during alter-calls when the worship songs sounded so right and I was singing it so loudly to Him...when goosebumps were showing all over my skin... the adrenaline rush was pumping my heart really hard...tears were soaking up my eyes...my arms were way up high in the air trying so hard to reach Him...that spur of a moment, it felt so perfect, right and easy to say that I promise to surrender my life to Him.

This really made me ponder, who is God in my life. Where does He stand in terms of status? When I made those vows, was His status parallel to an 8-year-old kid in my mindset? I couldn't help but repent immediately to God. He reminded me greatly that a promise is a promise, irregardless of who you made your promise to. Wow, what more for the promises made to God, the creator! He reminded me that He detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful (Proverbs 12:22). I feel greatly challenged and yes, I admit that I may have sometimes swayed away and got distracted over worldly things. There are times when I feel that I can't keep up to what I offered. But I am still trying and trusting Him all the way in helping the weakling me to fulfill my word. If the external promise is so important, then how about the eternal promise made at the risk of your life? A promise with the Father is an eternal one, which is kept not only in this world but also in the spiritual world.

What about you? Have you been fulfilling your part as a promise-keeper?