Reordering disorders

I've been challenged a lot to keep up with time and am feeling like as though I'm so far behind from where I thought I should be. Work's been challenging. Still trying to find my way around checking other people's work. At least that's what my job scope requires of me. I've got a weakness. I tend to set expectations on myself but the other side of me thinks that I cannot do it. Often enough I visualise a devil with 2 horns on the left of my head, saying to me, "Yes, it's very hard and not easy. You're right. You're slow. You can't, can't cant." On the other side, I picture an angel with a halo on his head cheering me on saying, "Your confidence is in Christ. You can, can, can!"(*LoL* so yeah, I watched a lot of Looney Tunes when I was a kid.). Although I know which side I should follow, I can't seem to bring my flesh to follow that voice. This confusion in my head has been stressing me up a lot and I've been losing my focus. I feel disorganised, wobbly and shaken. I don't know where to begin with.

Disorder spells stress, and stress is one thing you can designate as the opposite of peace. I get stressed when I don't know how to do something. Or, I'm not sure I know how to do something, which somewhat describes how I feel half of the time at work. As I was spending my devotional time with God today, I was reminded of one of God's characteristics. The Bible says that, "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace." (1 Corinthians 14:33). Very true. I do realise that I have been rather disorganised at work and figured I had to improve in prioritising what needs to be done first. There's always an order to getting things done efficiently. Order is good.

Indeed, thank God for that simple reminder of Himself. What a pleasure to know that He surely is constantly giving me more information about how to do my job of living at peace.

Ahh......... what a relieve. It'll get better. =)

2 more weeks to go till I finish my first assignment. I'm almost there!!! whooppie doohoo!

The office building in USJ for the past 2 months ++

My nomadic workstation

Poo Ling and I...--we share our laughters, burdens, datelines together.....

Yes, I cakap (speak) Malay, too! =D

Recently read a blog entry by a fellow bro-in-Christ who's been quite busy gobbling away in Singapore. (TEHHEHEE...~~~ watch the weight, bro!!)
Anyway, as I tend to visualize quite a fair bit, I guess when he got me imagining what it'll feel like sitting by the beach reflecting over the past experiences of our own lives, it didn't take me long to spot my most recent 'ah I know why' moment!

About experience with my current client so far, I'm currently assigned to a company whose staff are 80% Malays. I wasn't too comfortable with the idea at first, especially because I have communicate with them in Malay. During that one week of work at my client's office, I confess that I have been whinging a lot to myself about being 'disadvantaged' because I have to adapt to their preferred language. As I was sharing my dissatisfaction to my aunt recently, a revelation suddenly crossed my mind and it really blew me away!

My 'ah I know why' moment came to past when I recalled the time when I went to a hospital visitation at a paediatric ward with my church mates. Majority of the patients converse in Malay as most of them were either Malays or native East Malaysians. I had to share the gospel and pray in Malay for their sake. My partner, Jo couldn't speak Malay very well so I had to help her in translation. I wasn't too good at sharing in that language and honestly, I felt lost for words when I prayed. At that time, I really felt that I needed to surrender my mouth to the Lord to anoint my lips and the words that were spoken, although they were just simple words. However, I still wished that I could have done better.

It really got thinking about how self-centered I am about wanting to have things my way all the time. It's like as if I would prefer to do the things I am called to do only if it's easy. If only my clients would communicate with me in English, I think I would work more effectively. If only everyone in the face of the earth speaks English, sharing the gospel would have been more effective. Do these sound familiar to you? The question is, do I really get to choose my ways? Was the world created to fit my comfortable shell? Not that all. I was brought to remember in Matthew 24 about the signs of the end of age when Jesus said that the gospel of the kingdom must be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations before the Son of Man returns. The phrase 'all nations' caught my attention. It triggered to me that if I don't change this attitude of mine, I'll be a stumbling block in the work of God. The unreached are usually the ones who don't speak "our language". Just because it's harder to communicate, sometimes we choose to forget about them. If majority of us are thinking that way, aren't we just slowing down the process of getting the most important "task" done? Effective, we say? You see the irony?



So, the highlight of this whole post is....

"Ah.... I know why I'm posted to this client now. I am supposed to improve in my Malay so I can share the gospel in Malay!"

Hehe.. I'll be posted in this company till end of August. So, I have got 2 more months to practice. :P


"Makcik, pernah dengar pasal Jesus? Nak tahu kenapa Jesus cintamu?"
(Aunty, ever heard of Jesus? Wanna know why he loves you?)


*LoL*.... I'm still learning... trying to improve!!!


Here are some photos of the hospital visitation trip that I 'stole' off someone's Facebook. Heh.

This is Jo, with baby Ivy who was admitted due to chest infection.
I hope you're well now, cutesy!

My girls cellmates who came for the hospital visitation.


The girls again, with all the gifts for the kids.

Yeahh!! He did it again!

Officially started my first assignment at client's office. By the grace of the Man upstairs, my client's office is just down at Taipan.. which is within the same district where I live in. Yippie!! I can wake up an hour later!! Nyehh heh..

Work ended late on the first day, I got home at 10pm. It's peak period, so...mm hmm :)

Papa rang that night to arrange a dinner meeting with me the next night as he was gonna be around town. At that point, I felt that I couldn't promise him anything because I may work late, again. I really, really wanted me to meet with Papa since I missed his Birthday and Father's Day celebration altogether. I had something ready for him as a present. Being the good ol' Miss Practicality at her best, I got him a Dymo labelling machine. (those who know how much it costs, *SHhhHhhh!!!* He doesn't know the price and it's meant to be secret!! Well, unless he bothers to google it, then... whatever la!)

So... did I end u at dinner in the end??? Well.. the answer is....

......

......

....YES!

Actually, the highlight of this blog is to record down my praises to Him for hearing my heart again-- for allowing me to get off work extremely early today!! There was nothing much to be done towards the end so we were allowed to leave. We were even surprised that we get to see the sun when we got off.... haha!! :P

Anyway, it was a good time spent with Papa. Like I said before, I feel so blessed to have a father with such a great heart for his children. We had Korean for dinner. I'm utterly bad at blogging about the things I eat (that's Charis's forte :P), so... I'll let this photo do the talking.

TADDA!!!

There was only 2 of us but I think the amount we ordered was enough to feed a horse!!!

Speaking of food, met up with Bebe last weekend and we sure did have an exciting ride in the dark alleys of Kuala Lumpur with my very, very temperemental GPS. I paid 2 frigging tolls just to get to 1 Utama from Midvalley...=SSSS Anyways, we had Bak Kut Teh for dinner at SS4 area and the Singaporean gang bought a whole lot of bak kut teh spices back which I think can feed the whole population of Singapore. *LoLLL*

The time spent was invaluable, Bebe!! It'll be your turn to be the tour guide if I visit Singapore end of this year!! Sorry la, my tour guide skill is close to being as lost as a Singaporean.. paiseh! :P

All in all, I had a good weekend. =)

How much does happiness/satisfaction cost???

Last Friday, was at a meet-the-managers dinner with my fellow division team mates. I like meeting people, so I was looking forward to it. Didn't quite know what to expect out of a dinner night with bosses but since they've been hanging in this line for so long, I thought there's ought to be some good impartation that may feed my mind to convince me that it's still possible to have a balanced lifestyle and not perceiving this career path as one that is doomed to social suicide for the next few years. =SS

The dinner became somewhat like a mini-informal interview with the Managers. The usual questions were asked:

"Where are you from?"
"Why did you choose to be in the accounting line?"
"Do you play any sports?"

etc...

I sorta imagined myself being in a third party's shoe envisioning the scene at the dinner table. Funny how we just laugh at things that are not deemed to be very funny just to keep the atmosphere alive. Seems like it usually happens at meetings with superiors, eh? Weird, lah!!

I was just 2 seats away from the manager, so I decided to throw him some questions. I asked him what drives him to stay at where he is now. He said, money and the satisfaction. He mentioned that he loves watches and cars and he loves shopping a lot. He works for the money to achieve the satisfaction of owning the things that he desires for. I asked another manager the same question, his answer was the money, too.

When I heard those answers, I was deeply disappointed and I became frustrated in the spirit. Indeed, I am in no position to judge their decisions and lifestyle, but what got me thinking is that, whoa, look at the world today, people gain their satisfaction through material things. It seems like as though life is all about me, myself and I. There are so many people out there filled in their pockets, if only their money were put to good use in the kingdom of God. There are actually some trained Pastors in Sabah waiting to be sent out to mission-fields but they lack the finances -- all they need is at least RM6,000 a year. And how much have we blessed wealthy people squandered our finances in unnecessary things like a RM6,000 watch just so that we can keep ourselves happy for that one second when we look at the time?? I wished I could just scream at their faces telling them that there's more to life than just self-satisfaction. I observed around the restaurant, I even prayed in my heart, wishing that someone would share that agony of frustration over this matter. I seriously wonder, who's with me?

Indeed, God has brought some comfort to me through my dearest covenant friend when I read one of her recent blog entries. I thank God for reminding me that someone is standing in unison to my thoughts and beliefs and I am of course, not gonna be alone in this. I quote from her blog:

"....How normal the desire for that kind of life can appear to be. How quickly when we take our eyes off God and out of the Bible, we can buy into the lies that this life is about ME.
How scary is it that we can quickly become accustomed to such values and morals and see those things as acceptable.
How normal co-habitation seemed to be. How normal adultery seemed to be. How normal it is to place value on emotions over commitment and Biblical convictions. How normal it is to place value on the exterior beauty over internal beauty.
How foreign Biblical principles such as purity seemed to be. How non-existent it was the concept of God and purpose in life! How non-existent the concept of living for something other than yourself.
How normal it was to pursue the happiness, the needs and wants of ME.

....this life is NOT about me. It’s not about the perfect life that I deserve and should have. It’s not just about making money, staying thin and beautiful, marrying the perfect husband, and having the perfect 2.1 kids or whatever it is.
I was reminded that that’s NOT the legacy I want to leave. That’s NOT how I want to spend my life. Despite what the world says, we are all sinners, lost in sin. I didn't deserve anything, but Jesus created, pursued and saved me. This life is His. So I’m willing to give that all up to fulfill His purpose in my life. I don’t want to be caught up in this world- but to be focused on the one to come."

Her sharing truly reinforces my beliefs in being in the world but not of the world. I wanna live a God-satisfied life but not a self-satisfied life!!!

Cait, I so wanted to hug and kiss you when I read that entry. HAHA!!! Really needed to hear that from someone else. Thank you for being there, though in a subtle, unintentional manner!! Well, I guess it was intentional by our Daddy in Heaven, anyway. *giggles* Indeed we are not covenant friends for nothing. =D

So, is anyone else with us??? XD

Thirsty, anyone??

My division Senior Manager sent the new Associates an email requesting for a brief write-up about ourselves to be put up at the division portal for the rest of the team to get to know us. He wanted the write-up to be as creative as possible and also, include a candid photo of ourselves. Here's what I came up with:-

Wanna hear about the wonders of 'Connection'?

Have you ever drank Mirinda Orange? Meet MirAnda. She's only slightly different in spelling, but she somewhat resembles Mirinda Orange because its process of becoming such a yummylicious drink is similar to her journey of being part of PwC. She graduated from University of Queensland in 2006 and obtained work experience in Australia as an Accounts Payable Officer for about a year. She came back to Malaysia in search of a new connection and saw it in PwC. Their ConnectedThinking* not only clicked in loving the colour Orange but also being unconventional in perspective. She believes in not being a stereotyped dull Auditor and thinks that people dealing with accounts can be exciting and fun, too! She loves music, the beach, the gym, church, outdoor activities and traveling. Her journey of adventure here has just begun and is looking to get connected with the rest of the team out there. Wanna know how it feels like being drunk? You ask a bottle of Miranda. Get the twist? (Disclaimer: I'm allergic to alcohol. =P)

That's me in my company T-shirt and notebook in my hand.

....

....

.... I checked the portal today and turns out that I was the only one who squeezed out some "Orange juice" off my brain to come up with this. Most people just wrote a simple introduction of themselves. Accks..

So, do I get a prize for embarrassing myself on this one??? iiiisshhh....~~~