Jesus' wings: Let him fill your "love tank"

I sensed in my spirit, together with some of us with similar "tuggings" that we should continue to seek God and really carry on with the attitude of worship within us. It's really amazing when you know that God is speaking to us when people around you catch similar sensing through different means -- dreams, songs, the Word. 

Last night in cell meeting, we had a deep time of reflection through sharing testimonies, extended time of praise and worship, communion and prayer. Over the past weeks, it has been physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining for me. Even as I attempted to prepare myself for cell meeting this week, I felt challenged and I couldn't concentrate....perhaps overwhelmed by an ordeal that I was struggling through. There were nights where I was so drained that I just lazed on the sofa, stare at the TV watching American Idol, I didn't feel like doing anything.

One night during that quiet moment with God, a passage came to mind. 

Didn't think much of it. Wrote it in my journal. Not sure what God was impressing in my heart. 

Recently, the ordeal that I was going through, it took its toll and "erupted". My ignorance suddenly woke up, realising that my actions crushed a person. 

When I finally came to terms with this, when I looked to the person in the eye, I saw hurt, brokenness.  I suddenly had a God-moment, the passages that God gave me came hitting me in the face. 

"44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

~Luke 7:44-47

I recalled a revelation that I had from a book that I read some time back about this passage.  

...her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” 

When Jesus came to Simon, who was apparently the host, treated Jesus like an "unwanted" guest, in today's context, he didn't "open the door for him, shake his hand" - meaning...he had  no manners. 

However, the woman, so lowly who didn't even deserve to be named, unkindly only known as the "sinful" woman, did all that Simon didn't. She came thirsty and hungry. Thirsty for guilt, hungry for regret. 

Simon, didn't even know whether he is thirsty or hungry. He doesn't even asks for grace. He's too proud but instead take on the grace and dissects it intellectually, debate on it etc. 

The sinful woman, experienced an immeasurable extent of forgiveness, she knew what love really meant. And because of this, she couldn't stop tasting Jesus' love and love is filled into her "love tank". 

Simon, didn't ask or desired for grace nor forgiveness, he doesn't even know the existence of a love tank. His love tank was "empty". 

I sensed a question came to me, "How's your love tank?"  

Then I felt in my heart an impression came and told me, "You are like Simon." 

I almost couldn't hold back my tears. I was crushed that I didn't realise how far I have gone from his love. My love tank has gone unattended and rusty. My actions reflected it all. 

"While she had ample love to give, he had no love to offer."

I couldn't give real love. I felt like Judas giving Jesus' a kiss. 

I could probably speak eloquently about God's love, go to church, pray, worship God...  but I couldn't embrace it and I had none to give. And the emptiness of lack of love showed in my actions. 

I remembered some time back, I was challenged to do this. 

Try paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 by replacing the word "Love" with my name and recite it out loud. (Try it.... see how far can you go.)


"Miranda is patient, Miranda is kind. Miranda does not envy, Miranda does not boast, Miranda is not proud....."

Wooah.. wooah... hold up there....
I couldn't even recite half of it when I attempted to do it during the time of reflection in cell meet this week. I realised that I was none of these. I would be the biggest liar if I dare say these. Most of the time, we say it so conveniently. We take it so lightly. We take it for granted that by our own strength, we will never be able to become any of these. 

Only one person who ever walked the face of the earth could. JESUS. 

And if we read the same passage by replacing the word LOVE with JESUS......

"Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast, Jesus is not proud. Jesus is not rude, Jesus is not self-seeking, Jesus is not easily angered, Jesus keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jesus always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails."

We know he meets it all. 

Rather than reminding ourselves that we cannot produce such love, let's remind us of the love that we cannot resist! God's love. 

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." ~ 1 John 4:9-10

I don't know about you, I was disappointed by what had happened to me this week. But for me right now, I want to be the sinful woman. I want to be called the sinful woman without a name. 

I need to taste the forgiveness of God, so that I can learn how to love once again.... 

We need to receive HIS LOVE in order to GIVE LOVE. Because we cannot give what we do not have. Embrace how much He loves you so that you know how to love the unlovable, those who have hurt you, disappoint you, betrayed you, crushed you. 

Question. Once again, how's your love tank?

...Half-full?

...A quarter full? 

...Almost empty? 

...Leaking? 

...Damaged? 

Luke 7:47 ~ It reflects Jesus' wings of love in the form a 747 aircraft. Let his love lift you up the the next level. Let his love set you free through forgiveness. 


Come thirsty and hungry this season of Easter, taste his love once again... fill up your "love tank" with the love from the one and only who can satisfy....

"How He Loves"

by John Mark McMillan

He is jealous for me

Loves like a hurricane

I am a tree

Bending beneath

The weight of his wind and mercy

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these

Afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize how beautiful you are

And how great your afflictions for me

Oh how he loves us so

Oh how he loves us

How he loves us so

Yea He loves us

Oh how

We are his portion

And he is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes

If grace is an ocean we're all sinking

So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss

And my heart burns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way

He loves us

Oh how he loves us so

Oh how he loves us

How he loves us so

 

Pondering lent... Being Simon

Preparing bible discussion for the season of lent has been pretty reflective for me this season. Just last Friday in cellgroup, we shared about living a life that counts for God, and also finishing the race well. Reading through the passages on Mark 15:16-39, as I pondered upon what verses stood out to me, there were a few. However, two distinctively stayed imprinted in my mind until today. And they were passages that mentioned about "The Crucifixion". 


First observation..

(v21) "Then they compelled a certain man, Simon a Cyrenian, the father of Alexander and Rufus, as he was coming out of the country and passing by, to bear His cross."


I thought of this question...


"Why of all people among the crowd, Simon of Cyrene was selected to carry the cross?"
I did some research and came across these findings....


The word compelled was actually of the same word used in Matthew 5:41, that says, "And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two", and it refers to the Romans who had the authority to order any Jew to perform any activity in the service of Caesar, and the Latin word comes from the literal meaning of the Persian word is to be “pressed into the service of a king” . Guess what, he actually was serving a king! He probably had not realised yet, is that the king that he was "compelled" to serve that day was not the king of Rome, but the king of Israel, JESUS! Imagine the shame of having to walk right behind a condemned man, bearing the burden of what he may think that wasn't his, obligated to carry the cross with a journey which felt like as long as walking through a desert without water. 


As he journey through, I believe Simon would have gradually realise that the man he had walked behind, was actually his saviour who had borne his transgressions. On that very important day, it was Simon's first meeting with his Saviour,  as he looked at the eyes of Christ, the thing that would have impressed Simon is that he didn’t see the eyes of a guilty man, nor an angry man, nor a defeated man. I would have imagined what he saw was the look of determined man who wanted to go to Golgotha, a man who wanted Simon to bear the cross and help him to that destiny, a man who wanted to go there, and I thought I should emphasise  (v23) ....they gave Him wine mingled with myrrh to drink, but He did not take it..." after tasting it and knowing that it was to numb his pain, he chose to endure EVERY SIN that hurts to the deepest part of his skin and bones. And maybe, when he got there Jesus might have uttered quiet ‘thank you Simon’ as the burden was lifted off Simon.


Remember the passage it says that Simon was coming out of the countryside into the city of Jerusalem, and Jesus was being brought out Jerusalem.... these two men were travelling in opposite directions on that day. Notice a symbolic act that took place, Simon was called to serve the king of kings, he had to "turn around" and as you can see, he started walking towards the opposite direction, "the way of Jesus". His life was completely turned around by this meeting of the crucified Christ! His steps now follows Christ! 


Isn't this amazing?? What about you? Do you know that we are all called to be the "Simon of Cyrenes" of today? Through the sacrifice of our Lord, we have experienced the love of Jesus,  Just like the depiction of a mother giving birth to a child (quote: Amanda, "pop~!" xD) , she would refuse the epidural, Jesus refused the wine with myrrh, Jesus ran his race well, he did not give up nor take the "short cut" and he endured all the way. 
If God had called you this day, to "take up your cross and follow me", would you do it? 


I found this sharing online written on someone's blog about 
"The Cyrene Privilege: Being Simon".. as promised here's the excerpt of the poem.. 



....Loud and spitting people,
Cruel and frightful looking soldiers,
'Swish', the cane, time and time again!
Pandemonium, dust, anger, smell of blood.


Beaten man, battered man!
Heavy cross;They must really hate this guy.
I'll really hate to be him right now
All around; curses, stones, laughter, mockery.
What could he have really done to deserve all this?


Holy-looking pharisees,
Frightful looking followers; Crying women... this is crazy !


I should be on my way... WHAT!?
Me ? Take the cross ? Help him ? Why me ? Oh no!?
I was just passing, just watching ?!
I am out of luck!


This is really heavy! What could he have done to deserve this ?
How could he have anymore energy to lift this after all this beating and maiming?
Look at him - By God and the prophets, what has he done? Don't these people have pity?


Will I be able ? This Cross is weighing me down! I didn't bargain for this.
Its not mine to carry. This is killing me---all for someone I barely know.


This man... look at him...scarred, bloodied, hurt!
But the peace in his eyes, the humility in his step, the meekness in his pain, the determination in his countenance. He really believes he is up to something groundbreaking here.
This Jesus must be made out of stone!. Why is he doing this ? Why not just denounce and go his way ?
Why will he endure all this ? And go through all this ? Didnt I hear Pilate gave him a way out ?


He must really believe what he is doing.
He must really love his followers...
He must really really be committed to his cause and His Father.
I guess  helping him out is not that bad after all.
I suppose I can carry for a few metres , what he has carried a whole long way!
I think I can help this man, even if I was only forced to do it.
I think I will bear the weight, only if to give him some temporal respite.


I think I can do it.


I think i can; I know I should; Its the right thing to do ...


I always wondered what Simon of Cyrene thought when he was ordered to help Jesus carry his cross unto Calvary. I was gonna preach on this but i really cannot do it justice ...not at this time. So I just put down some disjoint thoughts.


History and the Bible don't give enough information about him for us to know if he was or wasn't a follower of Christ. Either way, he secures a very enviable place in my heart, as being the one man to have helped Jesus on his way to save me. I cant expound anymore on this but just say that, whatever his intentions were, and however it came to be that he was asked to help the King of Kings -  It was a privilege no one else in the world would ever  have again!


I would have loved to be Simon of Cyrene... I don't know about you.
But to carry the cross, endure the whip, the scorching sun, the dust, the dirt, the stones, and the curses.
I would have loved - if only for a short way off - to have helped my Saviour, as he toiled to save me.
I would have loved to be Simon of Cyrene, even if i didn't intend on being him from the start.


Maybe Simon didn't know the 'why', but I do.
Maybe Simon didn't want to try, but I would.
Maybe Simon wasn't sure of it all , but I  am.


I would have loved to help my Saviour, my redeemer, my king.
I would have been scared, but I would have loved to try...show him, how much he meant to me.
Such that if carrying that cross was all I could do , I would have carried it like a king carried a crown.


But wait! I think I still can!
I can still carry my cross - And be Simon in my own way...my own very small way.
I can bear the cross of the world, love my enemies, endure scorn for righteousness.
I think I still can stand for the right, and say no to wrong, and go against the tide.
I think I still can love my neighbour, help the needy, forgive my wrongdoers.
I think I can still carry the cross and follow my Jesus .
I might not be Simon, but I think I can still try to help Jesus , My Lord.


'Cos I know He did it for no one else but me.
'Cos I know the blood,the sweat, the tears....were shed for me.
'Cos I know he deserved it not, but bore it all.
And 'cos I know it was gonna be alright, come Easter Sunday.


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Let's prepare our hearts during this season of lent and spend some time to reflect on Jesus and his love for us in our lives....  


Worthy is the lamb, that was slain...