Love Is A Verb

Recently I did a strength finder test and interestingly  I scored a full-blown score where all five of my strengths fall under the "Relationship" quadrant. So it claims to say that "Relationships / People" matter very highly to me. Looking through my strength analysis, I couldn't help but ask myself if I was a people-pleaser or because I truly "love" them. 

How do you sincerely love? God says in His word that He commands for us to love. But if love is some kind of emotion, can it be commanded? Can one command someone to stop being sad, angry? Surely not. If we are merely actors, yes perhaps you can pretend and "act" the emotion out. How does one give something that they don't have? 

The most comprehensive description of love is found in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13. It speaks of the practical side of "agape" love. It is the kind of love shown in response to what life throws at you, be it challenges, disappointments, heartbreaks, discouragement etc. The passage doesn't speak of what love really is, but upon what love does and what it does not do. When I think of "doing", I think of a tangible action, something one can see, at least with the physical eye. Like an action. Maybe that's why some say love is not just a noun, it is a verb. It's more than sentimental, like most 21st century songs suggest. So if love is a verb, what sort of "action" is it really talking about? Is it about getting flowers for your loved one on every important occasion, making sure the trash is thrown out every night, the kids are picked up from school on time, remember to call her every end of the night before you sleep, etc? Maybe, maybe not. 

In God's terms, the weight of the verb that holds the word "love" is so much more than that. It is not just merely a verb that reaches out towards how you make others feel. It is a verb that reaches out to ourselves first. A verb that works inside of us. God's kind of love describes a character that is out of this world.  

All these "love is a verb", have I got it wrong all this while? Have I been allowing the "verb in love" work inside of me? The verb that is unseen within me yet silently works in action? 

It says Love...

...never gives up (suffers long and is kind) 

...cares more for others than for self (does not envy)

...doesn’t want what it doesn’t have(parade itself)

...doesn’t strut (is not puffed up)

...doesn’t have a swelled head (not puffed up)

...doesn’t force itself on others (does not behave rudely)

...isn’t always “me first,”(does not seek its own)

...doesn’t fly off the handle (is not provoked)

...doesn’t keep score of the sins of others (thinks no evil)

...doesn’t revel when others grovel (does not rejoice in iniquity)

...takes pleasure in the flowering of truth (but rejoices in the truth)

...puts up with anything (bears all things)

...trusts God always (believes all things)

...always looks for the best (hopes all things)

...never looks back 

...but keeps going to the end (endures all things...tenacity to keep believing and going) 

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message / NKJV emphasis added)

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

Love is almost like a verb that goes against human nature. It is like dying to ourselves. In fact, when we associate love with "death", love can even be a painful, hurtful one. Precisely what we saw when Jesus bore it all on the cross. 

How's the verb coming out of me making you feel lately? Love is not a thing. You can't really see it. Love is not something I own. I can't give what I don't have. I need the source of love to reach out to me and fill me daily. Let not my love for you be something I just scream because you don't need my words to know. Let Love be a verb that works in me and what comes out of me makes you feel loved. 

So when I say "I love you", sometimes you may or may not see it, 
but more importantly I hope you feel it more.

Surely, Love is a unique kind of verb. 

"Love Is A Verb"

Love is a verb

It ain't a thing

It's not something you own

It's not something you scream

When you show me love

I don't need your words

Yeah love ain't a thing

Love is a verb

Love ain't a thing

Love is a verb

Love ain't a crutch

It ain't an excuse

No you can't get through love

On just a pile of IOUS

Love ain't a drug

Despite what you've heard

Yeah love ain't a thing

Love is a verb

Love ain't a thing

Love is a verb

So you gotta show, show, show me

Show, show, show me

Show, show, show me

That love is a verb

Yeah you gotta show, show, show me

Show, show, show me

Show, show, show me

That love is a verb

Love ain't a thing

Love is a verb

John Mayer, Love is a Verb, 
from his album "Born and Raised"

A Bed of Roses

The saying says, "Life is not a bed of roses".

Perhaps.... Maybe because of the thorns around them. It hurts. The roses get overshadowed by our seas of pains. However, when you take a couple of steps backwards, the roses are actually more prominent than the thorns. The thorns are probably just a fraction of it (or even lesser!). Only God can make life's roses beautiful. We can only water it. Perhaps sometimes even with our tears.

Thus says the Lord : “A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping. Rachel is weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are no more.” Thus says the Lord : “Keep your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your work, declares the Lord, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future, declares the Lord, and your children shall come back to their own country. I have heard Ephraim grieving, ‘You have disciplined me, and I was disciplined, like an untrained calf; bring me back that I may be restored, for you are the Lord my God. For after I had turned away, I relented, and after I was instructed, I struck my thigh; I was ashamed, and I was confounded, because I bore the disgrace of my youth.’ Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child? For as often as I speak against him, I do remember him still. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him, declares the Lord. ~Jeremiah 31:15-20

A timely reminder...

I'd rather lie in a bed of roses and let the fragrance remind me of God's eternal love for me. 

Give me that 999 roses. 

I don't mind the thorns.

So you know what, I agree to disagree...

Life IS a Bed of Roses. 

 “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” ~ Hebrews 13:6 

To Die For?

I've been going to the movies a little more often than I used to. The most recent one that goes into the list of movies watched is "The Lone Survivor". A pretty intense yet heart-wrenching movie based on a true story about a group of Navy SEAL who participated in the Operation Red Wings in Afghanistan.

Here's an excerpt of what the movie's about: 

"The movie is based on the Marcus Luttrell book by the same name.  It examines how four SEALs -- Luttrell, Mike Murphy, Danny Dietz, and Matt Axelson -- were dropped onto an Afghanistan mountain on a reconnaissance mission, in 2005, to determine if a major Taliban leader, who had killed many American troops, was in a particular village.  Unfortunately, an elderly goat herder, a teenage boy, and a child came upon them, compromising the mission.  The fatal decision was made to release the Afghanis who notified the Taliban of the SEAL presence.  A furious firefight ensued, killing three SEALs, and another sixteen special forces operatives died in a helicopter crash while attempting a rescue mission.  Luttrell, the "lone survivor," was rescued by a Pashto village chief who provided him safety from the Taliban and medical aid for his major wounds, and sent a messenger to notify the American military."

Source: The American Thinker 

After watching the movie, I got onto the internet and looked up the background of this movie and found some short interviews with the real "Lone Survivor", Marcus Luttrell. I was particularly astounded by this one. 




Interviewer: “One of the emotions that I felt, while watching the film is first of all the hopelessness of the situation — how horrific it was and also just all that loss of life of these brave American men.."

Luttrell: "I don’t know what part of the film you were watching, but hopelessness really never came into it....I mean, where did you see that? Because there was never a point where we just felt like we were hopelessly lost or anything like that. We never gave up. We never felt like we were losing until we were actually dead....We spend our whole lives training to defend this country and then we were sent over there by this country — so you’re telling me because we were over there doing what we were told by our country that it was senseless? And my guys — what? They died for nothing?"

Wow. That came back pretty hard. But that stirred me to think. The tagline of the movie says it, "based on true act of courage".  These men trained all their lives believing in their calling to serve their nation. They fought with courage and were willing to give up their lives for what they believed they were called for. Hopelessness was not even in the radar at all. They were focused. They had a mindset that they fought from victory's side. They never lost till they were dead. If they died, they'd rather die in the battlefield. They'd rather die doing what they were called to do. 

Luttrell's response got me really thinking.  Am I willing to die for "my calling"? The fact that sometimes I carelessly recite this to myself, "To Live is Christ, to Die is Gain". Hang on, isn't this line quite... "senseless"? I believe these men probably understood their mandate in life no matter how "senseless" it was to a normal person, they lived for it and died for it. What about me? Do I see hopelessness around me or am I willing to strive in hope until I really die for "something"? 

We often describe some things that are so desirable and good as something "to die for". 

Chocolates are to die for... 

Ice creams are to die for....

That awesome torny durians are to die for....

What about.... desiring... Him?

Is it worth dying for? 

Do I really have what it takes to press on in hope for what I believe in? 

Only the test of time and reality would tell. And I believe the trials are not far away. 
It's happening already. 

Gotta pick up the armour and sharpen that sword to be ready for battle (Ephesians 6). 
Perhaps, and hopefully die a hero not just for one day, but for an eternal cause.

"I, I can remember (I remember)

Standing, by the wall (by the wall)

And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads)

And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame, was on the other side

Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day....."

~David Bowie~

(Covered by Peter Gabriel from the OST of "The Lone Survivor")

Wearing My Heart At My Sleeves

What does it feel like when the heart sticks loosely at the sleeves? Imagine that heart stuck on the sleeves by some cello-tape which holds it on "imprudently". Imagine just more emotions pouring into it. 

Sticking on...

Photo credits  Idiom Kids

It gets heavier, it might just lose its ability to hang on then when it cannot take the weight anymore, it helplessly falls downwards, downwards, downwards. Why is it that when you love, you "fall" in love? Why that vulnerable verb?
It's hard to comprehend the kind of message its trying to convey. Feelings don't come in labels. Maybe that's why I find it quite scary to feel with my heart. Stricken by the thought of trying to pick up a fallen heart. 

Hence I process my feelings with my mind. Someone once said to me, "Mir, stop feeling with your head. How about think with your heart?" A pretty interesting thought.  Then how do you resolve this when it says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Uncanny, isn't it? I've resorted to "Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." So the word says "guard your heart". Maybe in some ways I guard it like I own it. I don't want anyone to see my secret garden. And I build my fences around it with so many markers that no one gets to come in. Sometimes even the Father. 

Although the heart is unpredictable, the mind cannot process it, I've come to realise that the heart is quite a champ in holding itself together. It is capable of mending itself, self-repair, even after falling into the wrong pits, injuring itself. For some reason, its the "most devoted body part". It climbs itself back up again. It's almost like when you fall and bruise yourself, the old skin peels off, fresh wounds hurt so bad, but a new layer of skin just regenerates by itself and it heals. It's a revelation to me that it's actually ok to open up that fence a little to let that body part explore itself and let it do what it should. Feel. It just knows what to do. Because the Creator has made it perfect. Just how it should be. Just let it be. 

So, Heart, you might appreciate this, "THANK YOU", Heart, for being the most devoted body part. ;) 

Take care of the heart. But don't guard it too hard.

Message From Your Heart

~Kina Grannis~

Don't break me, I bruise easily

The source of both, your love and misery

I am steady, beating endlessly

While you are dozing, dreaming pretty things

I don't work for free

Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart

Your most devoted body part

Taking blood and making art

This is a message from your heart

Pounding away into the dark

You could thank me for a start

This is a message from your heart

Don't hurt me, I bleed constantly

My efforts leave me but flow back swiftly

My rhythm soothing, like raindrops steady

On foggy windows when you gaze outwardly

I don't work for free

Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart

Your most devoted body part

Taking blood and making art

This is a message from your heart

Pounding away into the dark

You could thank me for a start

This is a message from your heart

This is a message from your heart

Every time you sleep

Every time you eat

Every time you laugh

This is a message from your heart

Your most devoted body part

Taking blood and making art

Every time you cry

This is a message from your heart

Pounding away into the dark

You could thank me for a start

Every time you love

This is a message from your heart

This is a message from your heart

This is a message from your heart