朋友们，Shall we keep in touch?

Don't know why, just couldn't help but remember my schoolmates of my high school days -- (I was in an All Girls' Chinese High School) -- I was once teased to be a banana-skinned chic who doesn't listen to Chinese Music, the English language "guru" (which I don't think I am as good as they think I was.).. the bottomline was we live in "different worlds" and it's just quite difficult to go beyond just being school mates.
I found a set of friends and they do certain things I do, but I wouldn't say I agreed with all the things they used to do, but I pushed myself to "fit in".

Things changed when I couldn't push myself to be who I am not, anymore. I slowly stepped back and left in the shadow. No more shopping at the malls together, no more hanging out at the girls' place talking about boys, no more comparing dress senses. All no more. I left my usual seat at the canteen with the girls, empty.

I wondered, are these friendships worth keeping? Wait a minute, were we even friends from the beginning? I confess that I have allowed misconceptions to cloud my mind. I agreed with what my mind thought how I looked like in your minds. I backed away... and now, I feel like I was the baddie, instead. If only glue could make a broken vase look just as beautiful as it was before it fell onto the ground.

Reality sets in to remind me that I am back in this island for good, I remember my alma mater -- my high school mates, especially. Nothing can change the fact that I am a "Peng-Hwa gal."
The island is relatively small. There's always a high possibility that you'd bump into someone you know and it happens pretty often when you were once in a school with almost 3000 students. Strolling around Queensbay Mall brought me in physical contact with quite a number of my ex-school mates already. I see them from a distance, and I just didn't know how to begin with the simple word, "hello" anymore. I even forgot your names. How do I begin with those small talks? After these small talks, would there still be a possibility of keeping in touch? I do wonder how you are, did I ever cross your mind, too? I hope so.

My high school mates. Many of you left different sets of footprints in my life. Some trotted with me through happy times, stood with me through detention, some ran together with me (through the tough times... PMR..SPM~~oh-the-agony of exams.), some lifted my feet. I beat myself for holding on to the memories of being "stepped all over" more than the rest mentioned.

People walk in and out of our lives. I browsed through Facebook and it was one of the girls' birthday yesterday. I wrote a short note to send my birthday wishes. We've shared memories in the past. Most of us, technologically, we're still connected.. just through the wires of a computer. We're "friends" on Friendster and Facebook, but does this label anything beyond the words? You're all at the other end of the world and ironically, I am back here. Will we connect again on hard ground? Will I ever see your feet again? I hope you haven't walked out yet. It's different now. Times have change along with the extra lines we have on our faces. Is there room for grace? My heart cringe when I look at how things ended.... or perhaps, more like "hanging at the cliff", with certain things unsaid.

Well, above all else, my prayer for all of you is that you will be well. Take care.

PS: On another note, thank God for you, Ee Wey. Thicks and thins... You've always been my saving grace :) High School mateys for life!! *HugZ*

PPS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MELMEL!!!!! I DIDN'T FORGET. JUST DIDN'T CALL ON TIME! I WILL, SOON!! ^__^