Washed my hands with that soap today.
The familiar scent then hit me....
Wow... today, it's been exactly a year.
Nobody will know what I am talking about but you.
All is well... ;)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Sentimental
I usually brisk walk and jog around the neighbourhood.
Most of the time these jogs and time alone (after running with the doggies, that is.) are rather sentimental, nostalgic, reflective.
I went to my usual personal-time spot, it's a sit-up gym bench.
I've teared a few times lying there..
Different seasons in life.
This time, laid there and stared to the skies. Lovely weather.
Had my ipod on... went over to the swing in the park, I was kinda oversized for that swing... but yeah, anyway, didn't really care. The swingy feeling reminded me of the time when I was much younger. Remembered being a pretty tomboyish rough kid, I loved swinging on swings, like really high up. Sometimes even letting go of my hands...
I am quite amazed by the innocence and obliviousness of being a child, swinging up high at almost 90 degrees up the air.
Then one day, I did the same thing and fell off the swing. I hit the left side of my head. it bled. I don't know the severity of the damage caused, really. Sometimes I don't know whether this incident could have caused that cyst in my brain which caused occasional blank spells during my growing days in High School. Most doctors say it may not have caused it. But I only remembered this was the only occasion hitting my head.
Sometimes I wonder whether things would be different if this never happened. Maybe it's got nothing to do with this.
I think what made a difference is that I found God. Through my struggles and imperfection, even physically.
Whether it was the fall that caused this imperfection, it does not matter.
Most importantly, when I sat on the swing, swinging back n forth today, when the wind brushed over my face...I felt freedom, that I am free.
Because when I fell, love came down and rescued me........
Been listening to this song over and over again for the past few weeks...
I love it when I hear couples worshipping together.
Side note, I hope I'll be able to experience that with my partner someday.
I really should pick up an instrument.
Most of the time these jogs and time alone (after running with the doggies, that is.) are rather sentimental, nostalgic, reflective.
I went to my usual personal-time spot, it's a sit-up gym bench.
I've teared a few times lying there..
Different seasons in life.
This time, laid there and stared to the skies. Lovely weather.
Had my ipod on... went over to the swing in the park, I was kinda oversized for that swing... but yeah, anyway, didn't really care. The swingy feeling reminded me of the time when I was much younger. Remembered being a pretty tomboyish rough kid, I loved swinging on swings, like really high up. Sometimes even letting go of my hands...
I am quite amazed by the innocence and obliviousness of being a child, swinging up high at almost 90 degrees up the air.
Then one day, I did the same thing and fell off the swing. I hit the left side of my head. it bled. I don't know the severity of the damage caused, really. Sometimes I don't know whether this incident could have caused that cyst in my brain which caused occasional blank spells during my growing days in High School. Most doctors say it may not have caused it. But I only remembered this was the only occasion hitting my head.
Sometimes I wonder whether things would be different if this never happened. Maybe it's got nothing to do with this.
I think what made a difference is that I found God. Through my struggles and imperfection, even physically.
Whether it was the fall that caused this imperfection, it does not matter.
Most importantly, when I sat on the swing, swinging back n forth today, when the wind brushed over my face...I felt freedom, that I am free.
Because when I fell, love came down and rescued me........
Been listening to this song over and over again for the past few weeks...
"Love Came Down" , by Brian and Jenn Johnson
Side note, I hope I'll be able to experience that with my partner someday.
I really should pick up an instrument.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Reluctance that went both ways..
Have you ever had that experience when you're given an opportunity and yet you are constantly trying push the responsibility away?
I don't fancy that feeling at all. Having a heart unprepared and especially reluctance as my biggest excuse.
Just when I reluctantly take up the responsibility, things happened at work that I became so uptight and emotional about everything that's happening and then now, because on realistic terms, I really can't do it anymore, ironically, I had to 'reluctantly' give the responsibility away to someone else. I was almost in tears when I called the person to take over. How embarrassing.
I don't know whether He decided to take the responsibility off me because I was reluctant. I don't like the feeling of giving other last minute notice or taking over something that I was called to take charge of. I realise that I tend to take matters into my own hands. It's a situation that I always trap myself in. I don't think I should even think too much over it anymore. But I am still writing about this.
Sometimes I blog because I do it as a sense of release, pretending that I am talking to someone. And sometimes even imagining that God is standing somewhere listening to what I am saying about how I feel.
And... side note, I broke my workstation's locker key. The inner part of the key is stuck in the workstation. My manager spotted the other half of it on the floor.
Not sure how that happened because I don't remember hitting against it. Maybe someone's chair hit against it and it broke. The not-so-good part is that I remembered that the facilities guy, Muz, did warn me beforehand that this is the last key available for this workstation as the previous temp staff who was sitting at my place before that did not return the extra key.
Hence, if I lose it (in this manner, damaged it..) that'll be RM50 penalty for that! rawr. ;(
I don't fancy that feeling at all. Having a heart unprepared and especially reluctance as my biggest excuse.
Just when I reluctantly take up the responsibility, things happened at work that I became so uptight and emotional about everything that's happening and then now, because on realistic terms, I really can't do it anymore, ironically, I had to 'reluctantly' give the responsibility away to someone else. I was almost in tears when I called the person to take over. How embarrassing.
I don't know whether He decided to take the responsibility off me because I was reluctant. I don't like the feeling of giving other last minute notice or taking over something that I was called to take charge of. I realise that I tend to take matters into my own hands. It's a situation that I always trap myself in. I don't think I should even think too much over it anymore. But I am still writing about this.
Sometimes I blog because I do it as a sense of release, pretending that I am talking to someone. And sometimes even imagining that God is standing somewhere listening to what I am saying about how I feel.
And... side note, I broke my workstation's locker key. The inner part of the key is stuck in the workstation. My manager spotted the other half of it on the floor.
Not sure how that happened because I don't remember hitting against it. Maybe someone's chair hit against it and it broke. The not-so-good part is that I remembered that the facilities guy, Muz, did warn me beforehand that this is the last key available for this workstation as the previous temp staff who was sitting at my place before that did not return the extra key.
Hence, if I lose it (in this manner, damaged it..) that'll be RM50 penalty for that! rawr. ;(
My RM50 workstation key.... putus. ;(((
Yeah it was a rather crapperdoodledoo day for me. Honestly nothing to do with work deadlines, I guess I am just not all that proud of myself not knowing why I am upset --whether I'm being upset with myself (maybe partly) or just the situation itself.
It's an uncomfortable feeling when you know that the situation is out of your control.
That I cannot do anything to change the situation.
Actually, something is in my control, how I deal with my emotions.
I need to let go and let God.
And PMS should not be a valid excuse at all.
I always bring myself to re-read this blogpost (thanks to Jos for linking this to her blog some time back!) when PMS seems to be the most rational excuse in my own understanding.
This is my prayer for the week........................
help me hang on to you dear Father..
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tired...blockage of data?
Did this test during YA Camp.
Met Kevin for a briefing through the results.
The conversation lasted for an unexpected 6 hours.
Here's something rather glaring found in one of the graph results, which I am kinda feeling quite a bit of it now..
Reflections Test
Perceptual Orientation Graph
93% Blockage of data; not perceptive of fact
74% General concept retention: primary ideas; essence (this is the saviour that keeps me sane, this is the part that reflects of the brain that is still accepting what others are saying)
72% Triggered fantasy; thinking apart from facts/reality
61% Triggered imagination; innovative use of options
42% Resistance to change; attachment to familiar
32% Dogmatic blockage; set opinions resisting change (Thank God this is not high.. if not I'm bumped.. need a lot of prayer.. haha.)
29% Blockage under stress by anxiety, intimidation etc
21% triggered logicL analytical exploration, procedure
18% Rote retention: verbatim perception & recall re:fact
16% Triggered computation; numerical, statistical
My data blockage is extremely high. Showing a sign that I am burned out. That the brain is not receiving or processing much at the moment. I am running on screensaver mode.
Apparently, I need more of the "triggered fantasy" bit to help myself to destress and relax.
I need to feed myself with, like some out of the world stuff, daydream, watch a movie, stare out into space.
..................
I am honestly.. quite tired.
Lord, renew me afresh again and again, I plead.
Send Angels to assist and give me strength in Jesus' name.
In all that I am, all that I do, I do it for You.
I'm giving all I have.
Refill my cup again, I humbly ask.
Thank You Lord.
Maybe I should pick up a hobby, like fishing. Best activity to daydream on and stare into nothing, i think.
Or I should go catch a movie by myself, watch a chic lit film or something slapstick and laugh or cry my heart out.
bah, i don't know. I need a break wooh. 2011 please come soon.
Gnite everyone.
Met Kevin for a briefing through the results.
The conversation lasted for an unexpected 6 hours.
Here's something rather glaring found in one of the graph results, which I am kinda feeling quite a bit of it now..
Reflections Test
Perceptual Orientation Graph
93% Blockage of data; not perceptive of fact
74% General concept retention: primary ideas; essence (this is the saviour that keeps me sane, this is the part that reflects of the brain that is still accepting what others are saying)
72% Triggered fantasy; thinking apart from facts/reality
61% Triggered imagination; innovative use of options
42% Resistance to change; attachment to familiar
32% Dogmatic blockage; set opinions resisting change (Thank God this is not high.. if not I'm bumped.. need a lot of prayer.. haha.)
29% Blockage under stress by anxiety, intimidation etc
21% triggered logicL analytical exploration, procedure
18% Rote retention: verbatim perception & recall re:fact
16% Triggered computation; numerical, statistical
My data blockage is extremely high. Showing a sign that I am burned out. That the brain is not receiving or processing much at the moment. I am running on screensaver mode.
Apparently, I need more of the "triggered fantasy" bit to help myself to destress and relax.
I need to feed myself with, like some out of the world stuff, daydream, watch a movie, stare out into space.
..................
I am honestly.. quite tired.
Lord, renew me afresh again and again, I plead.
Send Angels to assist and give me strength in Jesus' name.
In all that I am, all that I do, I do it for You.
I'm giving all I have.
Refill my cup again, I humbly ask.
Thank You Lord.
Maybe I should pick up a hobby, like fishing. Best activity to daydream on and stare into nothing, i think.
Or I should go catch a movie by myself, watch a chic lit film or something slapstick and laugh or cry my heart out.
bah, i don't know. I need a break wooh. 2011 please come soon.
Gnite everyone.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Releasing the word...
Was at pre-service prayer with the Upper-Room Ministry (URM, aka The Intercessory Team) before 3rd service on Sunday. Yes, I have fulfilled one of my new year 'resolution'. I am now officially part of the URM team!!
Anyway,we usually gather in a room 1 1/2 hour before service begins to intercede and pray for anything and also preparation for service.
We stood in a circle as usual and one of our brothers led us through worship... Couldn't remember the list of songs but I could remember that we sang the Power of Your Love.
As most of us prayed in tongues and dwelled in His presence, it somehow felt like there was a space in between, sorta feeling. For a moment there, I felt that there were actually bible verses from 2 different books appearing in my thoughts. I don't know why but I kept rubbing my hand on my head, it's like as though something was actually going on 'up there'. There was a pretty long lingering of emptiness again... as though something is meant to happen. Being rather amateur-ish in releasing words, I often tend to battle in my head wondering whether it would fit the moment. Also,am usually not confident enough to put those words into perspective or rather fearful of blabbering something that doesn't make any sense. It has happened many times and it happened again this time, I did not release the word in the end.
We walked out of the room, the worship leader just now turned to me and said he could see that as if God was touching my head just now and He did instill something in me and the question is, why didn't you release it? I was like, kinda stunned and for a moment there I felt rather guilty.
Sigh.
Went in to service, it went on as usual, as we went into time of worship, one of the songs sung was "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus". The worship leader actually added some verses into the song.. and I remembered it went something like this:
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
then hour by hour you will know His power,
then you know you have run a good race."
My heart somewhat started to race because it hit me and made me realise that this was exactly what one of the verses that came into my mind was all about.
It was: Hebrews 12:1-2
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NKJV)
A-ha moment, strike one.
The speaker in service preached about "The Holiness unto the Lord".
14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; 16 lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. 17 For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.
- Hebrews 12:14-17 (NKJV)
Jacob He loves, Esau He hates. Isaac and Rebekah had two sons, Esau and Jacob. God chose Jacob (whom He later renamed Israel) to be the father of His chosen people, the Israelites. God rejected Esau, because he had 'worldliness' in him, because he devalued the things of God just to satisfy his carnal need, he traded his birthrights away for a bowl of soup! There was no separation between the worldly and the holy, Hence, the Esau generation (also called Edom) could NOT SEE God!
I believe God is bringing the church through a series of reminders and heartchecks. If we want to see Him, He desires for us to be holy, for only the holy sees God. God is not interested in just getting us into heaven but his intention is to get holiness into us. Holiness is about separation from the world. One of the causes of 'unholiness' is worldliness.
Is God really in the center of every part of our lives? Or is He just another loyalty just like how the Philistines placed the Ark of the Lord in Dagon's temple among the rest of the other idols?
Are there actually other idols in our lives centered 'around our temple'?
I believe God is reminding His church to check their hands, and hearts. Are we lifting our souls to other idols????
Anyway, here's the second bible passage that was meant to be released.
It's Psalm 24:3:6
3 Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
5 He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
6 This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face. Selah
A-ha moment, strike two. hmm..
Now I get what God means. I see the connection so clearly with the message now.
God was already speaking beforehand in the service and we could have interceded for a heart preparation for the congregation in receiving His word.
I guess I am not that 'spritually deaf' afterall, He was probably already screaming at my spiritual ears loud enough for me to hear. But I did not release it.. ;(
Lesson learnt. Speak.Up.
I typed out in an SMS the thoughts of what I believe God is conveying to His people. Sent it to a few people.
Hebrews 12:1-2 and Psalms 24:3-6
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
then hour by hour you will know His power,
then you know you have run a good race.
Give us CLEAN hands and a PURE heart.
He WILL receive the Lord's blessings.
Let us be the generation that seeks Him, O God of JACOB.
We shall not sell our birthrights for the things of the world.
Fix our eyes on Jesus!!!
A brother mentioned that when he reread the SMS, he believes that birthrights resembles our citizenship as Malaysians. God is indeed going to do something really great soon. I really believe so too. Indeed let's not give up on what God has given to us.
Indeed he is not done with us on this yet.
In today's prayer meeting, we sang the song, Give Us Clean Hands and Open the Eyes of My Heart. By no coincidence at all, definitely. His words ARE still ringing through to the church. Let our eyes be fixed unto Jesus.. the author and finisher of our faith. So that we run by his example, casting down ALL our IDOLS, having clean hands and pure hearts, so that we can stand on that holy ground, and the eyes of our hearts, WILL BE OPEN to SEE GOD.
Anyway,we usually gather in a room 1 1/2 hour before service begins to intercede and pray for anything and also preparation for service.
We stood in a circle as usual and one of our brothers led us through worship... Couldn't remember the list of songs but I could remember that we sang the Power of Your Love.
As most of us prayed in tongues and dwelled in His presence, it somehow felt like there was a space in between, sorta feeling. For a moment there, I felt that there were actually bible verses from 2 different books appearing in my thoughts. I don't know why but I kept rubbing my hand on my head, it's like as though something was actually going on 'up there'. There was a pretty long lingering of emptiness again... as though something is meant to happen. Being rather amateur-ish in releasing words, I often tend to battle in my head wondering whether it would fit the moment. Also,am usually not confident enough to put those words into perspective or rather fearful of blabbering something that doesn't make any sense. It has happened many times and it happened again this time, I did not release the word in the end.
We walked out of the room, the worship leader just now turned to me and said he could see that as if God was touching my head just now and He did instill something in me and the question is, why didn't you release it? I was like, kinda stunned and for a moment there I felt rather guilty.
Sigh.
Went in to service, it went on as usual, as we went into time of worship, one of the songs sung was "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus". The worship leader actually added some verses into the song.. and I remembered it went something like this:
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
then hour by hour you will know His power,
then you know you have run a good race."
My heart somewhat started to race because it hit me and made me realise that this was exactly what one of the verses that came into my mind was all about.
It was: Hebrews 12:1-2
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NKJV)
A-ha moment, strike one.
The speaker in service preached about "The Holiness unto the Lord".
14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; 16 lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. 17 For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.
- Hebrews 12:14-17 (NKJV)
Jacob He loves, Esau He hates. Isaac and Rebekah had two sons, Esau and Jacob. God chose Jacob (whom He later renamed Israel) to be the father of His chosen people, the Israelites. God rejected Esau, because he had 'worldliness' in him, because he devalued the things of God just to satisfy his carnal need, he traded his birthrights away for a bowl of soup! There was no separation between the worldly and the holy, Hence, the Esau generation (also called Edom) could NOT SEE God!
I believe God is bringing the church through a series of reminders and heartchecks. If we want to see Him, He desires for us to be holy, for only the holy sees God. God is not interested in just getting us into heaven but his intention is to get holiness into us. Holiness is about separation from the world. One of the causes of 'unholiness' is worldliness.
Is God really in the center of every part of our lives? Or is He just another loyalty just like how the Philistines placed the Ark of the Lord in Dagon's temple among the rest of the other idols?
Are there actually other idols in our lives centered 'around our temple'?
I believe God is reminding His church to check their hands, and hearts. Are we lifting our souls to other idols????
Anyway, here's the second bible passage that was meant to be released.
It's Psalm 24:3:6
3 Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
5 He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
6 This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face. Selah
A-ha moment, strike two. hmm..
Now I get what God means. I see the connection so clearly with the message now.
God was already speaking beforehand in the service and we could have interceded for a heart preparation for the congregation in receiving His word.
I guess I am not that 'spritually deaf' afterall, He was probably already screaming at my spiritual ears loud enough for me to hear. But I did not release it.. ;(
Lesson learnt. Speak.Up.
I typed out in an SMS the thoughts of what I believe God is conveying to His people. Sent it to a few people.
Hebrews 12:1-2 and Psalms 24:3-6
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
then hour by hour you will know His power,
then you know you have run a good race.
Give us CLEAN hands and a PURE heart.
He WILL receive the Lord's blessings.
Let us be the generation that seeks Him, O God of JACOB.
We shall not sell our birthrights for the things of the world.
Fix our eyes on Jesus!!!
A brother mentioned that when he reread the SMS, he believes that birthrights resembles our citizenship as Malaysians. God is indeed going to do something really great soon. I really believe so too. Indeed let's not give up on what God has given to us.
Indeed he is not done with us on this yet.
In today's prayer meeting, we sang the song, Give Us Clean Hands and Open the Eyes of My Heart. By no coincidence at all, definitely. His words ARE still ringing through to the church. Let our eyes be fixed unto Jesus.. the author and finisher of our faith. So that we run by his example, casting down ALL our IDOLS, having clean hands and pure hearts, so that we can stand on that holy ground, and the eyes of our hearts, WILL BE OPEN to SEE GOD.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wedding. Bridesmaid?
Weddings. Haven't been to one in ages.
In Australia, I've witnessed 2 couples getting married..
First, it was Kelvin and Chia Yen ...
Second, Alvin and Jace...
In less than 3 weeks' time, I will be attending my first wedding held in Malaysia since I returned from Australia.
Also, my first time being a bridesmaid too.
Was told that I'm supposed to get my own dress...
Colour code, white.
Gosh, I am a noobie in searching for nice dresses. Where should I begin?
Gotta think of ideas for the "fetch the bride" bit...
I have less than 3 weeks.
Good Lord, help me.
Then again, sounds exciting! ;D
In Australia, I've witnessed 2 couples getting married..
First, it was Kelvin and Chia Yen ...
Second, Alvin and Jace...
In less than 3 weeks' time, I will be attending my first wedding held in Malaysia since I returned from Australia.
Also, my first time being a bridesmaid too.
Was told that I'm supposed to get my own dress...
Colour code, white.
Gosh, I am a noobie in searching for nice dresses. Where should I begin?
Gotta think of ideas for the "fetch the bride" bit...
I have less than 3 weeks.
Good Lord, help me.
Then again, sounds exciting! ;D
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Prayer Drive along Northern Perak
Just got back from a prayer drive missions trip along the northern region of Perak about 2 weeks ago!
We covered 4 areas in total, Kuala Kangsar, Parit Buntar, Nibong Tebal and Bagan Serai. Seriously I have no idea how to start but I feel so so thoroughly blessed by this trip!
At the beginning of the journey, our prayer team leader shared her sensing and belief to us that revival IS going to take place in Malaysia! In order for revival to take place, the church has to be ready! And for that to happen, we have to make sacrifices eg. leaving our comfort zones, giving up our usual weekends spent with loved ones, hanging out in shopping malls, expensive dinners or just simply lazing at home.
We had about 12 of us in the team. "12 discliples" of Jesus! =P
Jo and I were in the same car with one very awesome couple that I used to notice from time to time in Tuesday nights prayer meetings. Ramesh is one amazing worship leader! I've always noticed how I enjoyed his spontaneity and sensitivity in leading the PnW session just alone with the guitar. Denise is just such a sweet beautiful lady with a gentle spirit and constantly prayerful. And guess what, Ramesh is indian and Denise is chinese! Talk about really living out the 1Malaysia 'muhibbah' -ness of our country!
When we started our drive, we were focused and prayed throughout the journey along the North-South Highway. We prayed for the simplest things like breaking the spirit of deaths, accidents on the highway, drivers to be alert and careful... etc
Oh yes, we also kept our missions team who went over to Sabah in prayer as well! I believe it is timely indeed that our church is sending out people in this season as I believe very much that through this season of fasting and praying for the nation, I sense that this is a season of awakening, that churches should not be content in keeping our faith contained within the four walls of our church buildings. Now God is indeed urging us to extend our faith beyond our boundaries of our city and nation.
We arrived safely at the church at about 4pm. We arrived at a small church among one the shoplots.
We were greeted by the Pastor and one of their elders. We gathered in the church to have a short briefing before we set off to drive around town of Parit Buntar. A church elder (He's Sarawakian, btw!! HURRAH to East Malaysians!) prepared a map for all of us before we set off. Check out his cool map! 7-pager "14 stop" map! I totally admire his admin skills!
Pastor was so grateful for our visit because he believed we were divinely sent there, in the perfect timing of God. He's been receiving several visions that this church is going to be used by God, they've been praying for an expansion in the church.
In the prayer service, Ramesh, Denise, Jo and I served as a team in worship. There was indeed a very sweet presence of GOD in this small church within the shoplots of PB.
Pastor mentioned that during the time of worship he could sense a strong presence sweeping through the sanctuary. He had wanted his congregation to rise up to this level of worship & prayer which ushered in the presence of God. He was thankful that we were there to give his people a demonstration of the kind of worship & prayer+ releasing the word of God which was hard for him to describe to his congregation. He told his congregation that our worship & prayer was a model for his church to follow.
Our team preparing for Worship session led by Ramesh...
When I was in the church elder's car with his kids, he mentioned something really interesting about PB. It is actually located around 3 state borders, Kedah, Penang and Perak! Indeed this place is one very divine ground and is in need of prayers for God's presence to dwell in this place as it is in the centre of the northern region within 3 states!I believe within my heart that this small congregation can be used mightily by God. As His people rise up in faith and step out as a team, they too could come together as a team to effectively transform their community. (The vision of this church, emblazoned on their church wall is to “BLESS AND TRANSFORM OUR COMMUNITY WITH CHRIST’S LOVE ).
Prayer for this church:
They do not actually have a visible banner or signboard that displays the church name. They have tried applying through the council but it was rejected.
It is also the church's desire to expand and they have been praying for one particular building within the Nibong Tebal area. They would like to reach out to the local university students which is also near that area.
During our prayer drive, we went to the building location and laid hands on the building walls to believe and claim that place for God. We also prayed for the releasing of provision in finances to obtain the building. Before we left the church, we blessed them with a small token of faith gift as a sign of its first seed of sowing into its building fund. They mentioned that by faith, when they expand, they will invite us back for the opening of the new church location! I am so totally waiting for this DAY! It shall come to past in Jesus' name!!!
The humble and thriving church in Parit Buntar!!
Next day, we went on to visit 3 anglican churches within the areas of Nibong Tebal and Bagan Serai under Canon Charles. Canon Charles overseas 5 churches in that region. All three services that we attended were in Tamil.
The first church we stopped by was in St Andrew's Anglican Church.
This is my first time setting foot into a Tamil service. During the time of worship, we all sang in Tamil. Although I didn't know what I was singing and I was just reading out from the literal pronunciation from the little green hymn book, I thoroughly enjoyed myself especially during the time of Praise, as you can imagine, Tamil songs ARE catchy and I just couldn't help it but started dancing around with my feet. Of course, Joanne was already doing her own Indian dance! LOLOL... Truly, It's just so so so so... amazing and it just blows my mind to hear God being worshipped and praised in another language! It is really not about the language, but it's all about God. Couldn't help but really imagine and dream that one day, every knee will bow and confess that JESUS CHRIST is LORD! In ALL languages irregardless of colours and location!
Me! Worshipping God in Tamil! =D
Speaking of that, the Adun (the state assemblyman) suddenly turned up towards the end of the service. His visit turned out to be a big surprise. Canon Charles informed us that they had been trying in vain to contact him. Of all times, he suddenly turned up! I believe it is by no accident that our prayer team was there. Jo and I took the opportunity to talk to him. We also took the opportunity to pray for healing for the skin problem on his hand. The Adun’s heart must also have been further softened and actually pledged for the refurbishing of the building! Praise the LORD!
And Christ will give you light"
- Ephesians 5:14
I also read the book "God Chasers" by Tommy Tenney, something really caught my attention, he said this:
"A word of the Lord has come to me about "old wells" that applies directly to cities as well as to older mainline denominations and churches. God is going to redig or uncap the old wells first, before the newer artisan wells break open . Genesis 26 tells us that Isaac had his men redig the wells that his father, Abraham had originally dug many years before in the Valley of Gerar. Although his father's enemies had filled in the wells after Abraham's death, Isaac still called them by their original names. He found so much water there that he constantly battled with Philistine raiders and finally moved to Beersheba, or 'the well of oath'. It was here that Jacob encountered the living God and discovered his true birthright in God's plan."
I felt so gripped in the spirit and I know that God's really telling me something.
That really got me thinking. Before bringing in new wells, He will be revisiting the old ones.. He will probably visit the historical places of revivals again. And of course, remembering that Malaysia has encountered 2 revivals within a short span of 53 years, I would like to believe that our country is within His 'itinerary' of visitation. Revival will take place in our nation. But firstly, how ready are we? Are the churches willing to make room and time to prepare their hearts so that God can lead us on further? Every revival grew out from prayer meetings: Wales, Azusa Street, Bario, Wesleyan England, Argentina, etc. If this is true then we should continue to pray unceasingly. I really believe that it is by no coincidence that God has called the prayer drive team to visit the older Anglican churches in Parit Buntar, Bagan Serai and Nibong Tebal, which have been around since the early 1900s. Also, timely that our church sent a team to Sabah to serve the churches in the interior (WELL DONE, Yew Teck and Colin!)
I sense that God has brought us to redig the old wells... to revive the churches who needs a spiritual push and encouragement to WAKE UP.
For a moment there, I felt so caught up and jaded about work. I don't know if you ever felt it before, I felt like as though I didn't know where I misplaced my sense of purpose and priorities. I felt, well, spiritually DEAD.
I started to question, who is going to move and revive the churches that needs encouragement? Who is going to step out to rebuild the broken walls of these churches? Who's going to help them to be ready??? That's when I knew I had to go. That's probably why some of you noticed that I was missing from cell on the Friday before the prayer drive. I decided to stay back at work to complete as much as I could so that I could devote my weekend for this Prayer Drive.
Seriously, I have no regrets at all. I believe more should have participated! WE NEED MORE YOUNG ADULTS! When I was there at throughout the prayer drive, I felt that I could feel more of what God's heartcry is for these churches and what's really happening outside of our comfortable church walls even more! As crazy as it may sound, I felt that as though I myself, was personally "RAISED FROM THE DEAD". By just being there, not because I have done much, my presence have made a difference. If I have declared so many times that I want to be an agent of change, I should be living out what I have declared. Just being there, I was thoroughly blessed too! I felt a personal revival within myself! I felt ALIVE again!
In these 'old wells', I believe God sees more than what we can see, there's more than this, Her beauty still exists,
His bride is still alive....
Malaysia is indeed a very special land. Now do you know why God has called you here?
Avail yourself. When God calls forth labourers, be one of them.
If only you GO OUT, then you will personally experience MORE of God's miracles, heartbeat etc. You'll understand YOUR FATHER better, FOR YOUR LAND.
Go people, GO!
We covered 4 areas in total, Kuala Kangsar, Parit Buntar, Nibong Tebal and Bagan Serai. Seriously I have no idea how to start but I feel so so thoroughly blessed by this trip!
At the beginning of the journey, our prayer team leader shared her sensing and belief to us that revival IS going to take place in Malaysia! In order for revival to take place, the church has to be ready! And for that to happen, we have to make sacrifices eg. leaving our comfort zones, giving up our usual weekends spent with loved ones, hanging out in shopping malls, expensive dinners or just simply lazing at home.
We had about 12 of us in the team. "12 discliples" of Jesus! =P
Jo and I were in the same car with one very awesome couple that I used to notice from time to time in Tuesday nights prayer meetings. Ramesh is one amazing worship leader! I've always noticed how I enjoyed his spontaneity and sensitivity in leading the PnW session just alone with the guitar. Denise is just such a sweet beautiful lady with a gentle spirit and constantly prayerful. And guess what, Ramesh is indian and Denise is chinese! Talk about really living out the 1Malaysia 'muhibbah' -ness of our country!
When we started our drive, we were focused and prayed throughout the journey along the North-South Highway. We prayed for the simplest things like breaking the spirit of deaths, accidents on the highway, drivers to be alert and careful... etc
Oh yes, we also kept our missions team who went over to Sabah in prayer as well! I believe it is timely indeed that our church is sending out people in this season as I believe very much that through this season of fasting and praying for the nation, I sense that this is a season of awakening, that churches should not be content in keeping our faith contained within the four walls of our church buildings. Now God is indeed urging us to extend our faith beyond our boundaries of our city and nation.
We arrived safely at the church at about 4pm. We arrived at a small church among one the shoplots.
We were greeted by the Pastor and one of their elders. We gathered in the church to have a short briefing before we set off to drive around town of Parit Buntar. A church elder (He's Sarawakian, btw!! HURRAH to East Malaysians!) prepared a map for all of us before we set off. Check out his cool map! 7-pager "14 stop" map! I totally admire his admin skills!
Pastor was so grateful for our visit because he believed we were divinely sent there, in the perfect timing of God. He's been receiving several visions that this church is going to be used by God, they've been praying for an expansion in the church.
In the prayer service, Ramesh, Denise, Jo and I served as a team in worship. There was indeed a very sweet presence of GOD in this small church within the shoplots of PB.
Pastor mentioned that during the time of worship he could sense a strong presence sweeping through the sanctuary. He had wanted his congregation to rise up to this level of worship & prayer which ushered in the presence of God. He was thankful that we were there to give his people a demonstration of the kind of worship & prayer+ releasing the word of God which was hard for him to describe to his congregation. He told his congregation that our worship & prayer was a model for his church to follow.
Our team preparing for Worship session led by Ramesh... When I was in the church elder's car with his kids, he mentioned something really interesting about PB. It is actually located around 3 state borders, Kedah, Penang and Perak! Indeed this place is one very divine ground and is in need of prayers for God's presence to dwell in this place as it is in the centre of the northern region within 3 states!I believe within my heart that this small congregation can be used mightily by God. As His people rise up in faith and step out as a team, they too could come together as a team to effectively transform their community. (The vision of this church, emblazoned on their church wall is to “BLESS AND TRANSFORM OUR COMMUNITY WITH CHRIST’S LOVE ).
Prayer for this church:
They do not actually have a visible banner or signboard that displays the church name. They have tried applying through the council but it was rejected.
It is also the church's desire to expand and they have been praying for one particular building within the Nibong Tebal area. They would like to reach out to the local university students which is also near that area.
During our prayer drive, we went to the building location and laid hands on the building walls to believe and claim that place for God. We also prayed for the releasing of provision in finances to obtain the building. Before we left the church, we blessed them with a small token of faith gift as a sign of its first seed of sowing into its building fund. They mentioned that by faith, when they expand, they will invite us back for the opening of the new church location! I am so totally waiting for this DAY! It shall come to past in Jesus' name!!!
The humble and thriving church in Parit Buntar!! Next day, we went on to visit 3 anglican churches within the areas of Nibong Tebal and Bagan Serai under Canon Charles. Canon Charles overseas 5 churches in that region. All three services that we attended were in Tamil.
The first church we stopped by was in St Andrew's Anglican Church.
This is my first time setting foot into a Tamil service. During the time of worship, we all sang in Tamil. Although I didn't know what I was singing and I was just reading out from the literal pronunciation from the little green hymn book, I thoroughly enjoyed myself especially during the time of Praise, as you can imagine, Tamil songs ARE catchy and I just couldn't help it but started dancing around with my feet. Of course, Joanne was already doing her own Indian dance! LOLOL... Truly, It's just so so so so... amazing and it just blows my mind to hear God being worshipped and praised in another language! It is really not about the language, but it's all about God. Couldn't help but really imagine and dream that one day, every knee will bow and confess that JESUS CHRIST is LORD! In ALL languages irregardless of colours and location!
Me! Worshipping God in Tamil! =D Our dear brother Ramesh, shared a message from the passage in 1 Samuel 17:34. His message was about whether we as God children, do we see God's faithfulness, or do we focus on our "Goliaths"? Canon Charles did quick summary of Ramesh's message and he said this is indeed a very timely message to the church and the analogy that he used to share the message was really something that they have never heard before.
We had to quickly rush off as Canon Charles had to preach in another church. Next stop, we went to the Holy Trinity of Nibong Tebal. God certainly visited that church that morning! i believe through the message heard at the previous church, something really stirred Canon Charles' heart.With that, he offered to sing us a song, and as he broke into singing accompanying himself on the guitar, he definitely was experiencing a personal revival that morning. I can’t remember the words of his song, but it was really amazing and I was so so blessed to just enjoy the song of worship.
Canon Charles experiencing a personal revival...
It was also a timely visit for this little Nibong Tebal church because we were informed that the very next day, they would be beginning renovations as the building was too old & shabby.
During the end of the service, one lady actually came up to us to ask to pray for her salvation! She was deeply moved by the message that Sister Sharon shared during the service as she was sharing about the Lord's prayer. As we prayed for her salvation, tears just rolled down her face. She was totally filled with God's spirit and she went down the ground. Before we had to rush off to the next church, I took out one of the worship CDs I brought along for listening. I gave it to her as a gift as I sensed very much so that she's in a lot of pain and is in need of a lot of healing. I followed up on her via SMS after the trip and she mentioned vaguely to me about what happened in her life (she had to leave her home because her family is against her new belief in God) and she has been listening to the CD non-stop for the whole day and she could sense God's love overwhelming her. Indeed God is a gracious and loving God to his children and let's keep praying those who are persecuted for their faith!
Next stop we went to St Peter's Church in Bagan Serai. This is probably one of the newer churches as it was actually built within a housing area - a house converted to a church. The congregation here is much bigger with a mixture of people of the old and new generation. I was personally very excited to see a large number of youths in that church. We were going to just drop by the church at go straight for prayer drive around the town, however, Jo and I decided to stay back to join the service.
After the service, we were offered to join them for lunch which was prepared by one of their church members. We had the opportunity to fellowship with the church members. Canon Charles had some personal time with the rest of our team. Jo and I sat with their 16 year old youth leader, Sharon. She's such a sweet beautiful girl. She shared with us about her ambitions in life. She desired to be either an Air Stewardness or a Policewoman. Jo, of course, had the opportunity to share with her about her experience as an ex-air stewardess. She asked us for advice about her career path. I mentioned to her that she has the heart to serve people. noticing from the choices she picked for a career path. She admitted that she loves serving people. With that, I somehow had a thought and shared a sensing that she will be a good nurse. Maybe she should consider that. Through this career, she can use this skill to touch and serve many lives and bring glory to our Father. I could see that her heart was lightened up and she shared with us that recently her teacher suggested to her that she should be a nurse too! Wow... could be a confirmation.. hehe.
Anyway, Jo and I met up with the youths after lunch and had a short time of sharing and fun with them. They were initially very shy so we started off with an ice breaker, "blow-wind-blow". We sure did have fun! After that, Jo gave a short impartation to encourage the youths. She shared about how the youths in churches with in this region should rise up together to reach out. Eg. through organising community events etc. I can sense so much in my heart that these youths are very capable and are very hungry for God's word! Whenever Jo quoted a scripture or shared something related to the bible, some of them would quote it out together. They were so so so attentive to us when we shared our hearts out to them. I believe that they are so able, if only someone would guide them! I really hope that one day soon, we can go back there to reach out and build the youths!
St Peter's Church @ Bagan Serai
Canon Charles introducing the prayer team to the church
And yes, that was our last stop for the trip. =))
I just really wanna say that I am so so so thoroughly blessed by the experience throughout the prayer drive. Just to share the truth, I was initially very reluctant to go for the trip due to my heavy workload at work. I remember during the prayer meeting the week before, I did not stand up to receive prayer when Pastor called to pray for those going for prayer drive.
Throughout the week as I was doing my devotion, this verse kept showing in my mind...
"Awake, you who sleep,
And Christ will give you light"
- Ephesians 5:14
I also read the book "God Chasers" by Tommy Tenney, something really caught my attention, he said this:
"A word of the Lord has come to me about "old wells" that applies directly to cities as well as to older mainline denominations and churches. God is going to redig or uncap the old wells first, before the newer artisan wells break open . Genesis 26 tells us that Isaac had his men redig the wells that his father, Abraham had originally dug many years before in the Valley of Gerar. Although his father's enemies had filled in the wells after Abraham's death, Isaac still called them by their original names. He found so much water there that he constantly battled with Philistine raiders and finally moved to Beersheba, or 'the well of oath'. It was here that Jacob encountered the living God and discovered his true birthright in God's plan."
I felt so gripped in the spirit and I know that God's really telling me something.
That really got me thinking. Before bringing in new wells, He will be revisiting the old ones.. He will probably visit the historical places of revivals again. And of course, remembering that Malaysia has encountered 2 revivals within a short span of 53 years, I would like to believe that our country is within His 'itinerary' of visitation. Revival will take place in our nation. But firstly, how ready are we? Are the churches willing to make room and time to prepare their hearts so that God can lead us on further? Every revival grew out from prayer meetings: Wales, Azusa Street, Bario, Wesleyan England, Argentina, etc. If this is true then we should continue to pray unceasingly. I really believe that it is by no coincidence that God has called the prayer drive team to visit the older Anglican churches in Parit Buntar, Bagan Serai and Nibong Tebal, which have been around since the early 1900s. Also, timely that our church sent a team to Sabah to serve the churches in the interior (WELL DONE, Yew Teck and Colin!)
I sense that God has brought us to redig the old wells... to revive the churches who needs a spiritual push and encouragement to WAKE UP.
For a moment there, I felt so caught up and jaded about work. I don't know if you ever felt it before, I felt like as though I didn't know where I misplaced my sense of purpose and priorities. I felt, well, spiritually DEAD.
I started to question, who is going to move and revive the churches that needs encouragement? Who is going to step out to rebuild the broken walls of these churches? Who's going to help them to be ready??? That's when I knew I had to go. That's probably why some of you noticed that I was missing from cell on the Friday before the prayer drive. I decided to stay back at work to complete as much as I could so that I could devote my weekend for this Prayer Drive.
Seriously, I have no regrets at all. I believe more should have participated! WE NEED MORE YOUNG ADULTS! When I was there at throughout the prayer drive, I felt that I could feel more of what God's heartcry is for these churches and what's really happening outside of our comfortable church walls even more! As crazy as it may sound, I felt that as though I myself, was personally "RAISED FROM THE DEAD". By just being there, not because I have done much, my presence have made a difference. If I have declared so many times that I want to be an agent of change, I should be living out what I have declared. Just being there, I was thoroughly blessed too! I felt a personal revival within myself! I felt ALIVE again!
In these 'old wells', I believe God sees more than what we can see, there's more than this, Her beauty still exists,
His bride is still alive....
Malaysia is indeed a very special land. Now do you know why God has called you here?
Avail yourself. When God calls forth labourers, be one of them.
If only you GO OUT, then you will personally experience MORE of God's miracles, heartbeat etc. You'll understand YOUR FATHER better, FOR YOUR LAND.
Go people, GO!
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