Remembering Evangelism

About 2 weeks back we had our prayer meeting centered around Evangelism.
On that same night, my pastor returned some notes that I lent to her some time back on Evangelism which was written by Hope Church.
In the coming year, the church will be focusing on evangelism.
I remember how EVAX used to be a weekly lifestyle for me and some of us back in uni.
I have to admit that it's been buried for a long time since I returned.
And I knew I have to reignite that fire again.... it should be a lifestyle!

And... guess who I bumped into at prayer meeting that night..........

...... PETER TROUNG!!!! Check his blog and website on this link.
He was in town for a short visit before heading to Cambodia for ministry. God is seriously using him to bless many lives around the world now.
Evangelism has literally became his FULL TIME job!

The guy who introduced Everyday Evangelism 1 and 2 and the "sifu" of EVAX!
And I can really say that he really lives out Romans 1:16.
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes..."

Looks like it's a sign!!! Time to pick up that EE1 book and flip through it once again...

Expectations

I sometimes wish I knew how to be a better friend....
It's a terrible feeling when someone gets hurt because we didn't do what a friend is expected to do when they need you.

Now I bite my own tongue because now I know how that feels like.
And I have no right to expect that you'd call to check on me.

Because God made it all alright.

Expectations. It's a dangerous thing to put on people.

It's self-inflicted hurts.

So I should snap out of it.

Good night world..

CrossOver

About slightly more than a week ago, our cell went for a retreat up at Penang.
It was also in conjunction with the launching of our new cell name...

This is a devotion guide prepared for the cell for Saturday morning.
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Crossing Jordan: Getting our feet wet…moving forward in faith

BIBLE READING: JOSHUA 3:1-17; 4:1-7

In these passages, we see a miracle happen as the Israelites begin their conquest of Canaan. The LORD told Joshua that he should go among the people, telling them to move and make camp on the banks of the Jordan river. When they see the Ark of the Covenant pass by, they are to follow behind it at a distance of about half a mile. When the priests reached the bank of the river and stepped in, the water went upstream and bed became dry ground for the people of Israel to cross under. The ground remained dry as long as the Ark remained in the river bed. In the midst of crossing Jordan, the Lord commanded His people to take 12 stones, carry them over to the other end symbolising the memorial of their victorious journey to their children.

Notice that as they made ready for the crossing, it was necessary for them to have a reminder of God's presence and promises to look toward. They needed something to occupy their thoughts (v3) as they crossed over into a new land. If not:

• Some might fix their sight upon the past looking back at the time of Egypt where they felt familiar with and want to remain right where they were.
• Others might fix their eyes upon the river and be afraid to cross over.
• Still others might look at the unknown land upon the other side and because of fear, turn back.

I believe that through this journey called life, many of us may tend to look back and remain in our “Egypts” because it feels familiar and there is a certain amount of ‘security’ in the past, we know what has happened and we can cope with it. Fear grips our hearts and we are afraid of what might happen in the future, and we determine to live in the past. When we see the “Jordans” in front of us, fear and impossibility starts to take over and pollute our sight!!

However, when we fix our eyes on God, just as how the Israelites kept their eyes on the Ark of the Covenant, we are ABLE to CROSSOVER to the other side, claiming our victories, conquering our giants in boldness and courage because we know that God never forsaken us!

I believe as a child of God, we surely had some “Crossing Jordans” experiences throughout our walk with Him. Just like how God has called the Israelites to lay the 12 stones as a memorial of their victorious journey, let’s do these activities together to reflect upon our journey thus far:

1. What were the “Egypt”(s) that you had to leave behind?
2. What were the “Jordan”(s) that you had to face? How did you “cross” it?
3. In all the above, how did God play a role in helping you leave your Egypt(s) or cross your Jordan(s)?
4. Are there any “Egypt”(s) in your life at this moment that you are struggling to leave behind?

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We had to do a "lifeline" to reflect upon our life journey, marking down the various "Egypts" and "Jordans" we faced in our lifetime.

My lifeline...

Often times we get so busy that we don't take time to pause and reflect, doing this lifeline really helped a lot as I had to intentionally recall the significant seasons in my life. The points when I was at my lowest and highest, spiritually, emotionally, physically.

There is nothing more important in times of transition, closure or upheaval than to reflect on God’s faithfulness to us in the past. Sure, a lot has changed. I've had some “mountain-top experiences” and crossed several Jordans.... Also hearing a calling of some kind somewhere along way when things I thought was meant to be were interjected. That's when some "Egypt experiences" arose and it was just so so so hard to get out of it. These were the seasons when I was really so lost in my wilderness. Seasons and cycles in life changes and arrows are pointing at different directions. However, I do know that the Lord of the Universe, the Hope of the World, the Ordainer of History isn’t changing. He’s still the same steadfast, loving Lord.

“I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. . . . Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty~Malachi 3:6–7

As I look back and reflect upon God's faithfulness to me, He is always walking along side with me and showing me the way. I'm thankful. I remember His memorial stones. There's so much to share and tell even to those who need to hear how good God is.

Prepared some personal "memorial stones" together with my Cell Leader, May Lee for the cellies in the car together on the way to Penang, while Gavin drove us.... heh heh.

A new season has just begun... no turning back, no turning back.....
CrossOver!!
We are more than a conqueror!

Sentimental #2

Washed my hands with that soap today.
The familiar scent then hit me....
Wow... today, it's been exactly a year.
Nobody will know what I am talking about but you.
All is well... ;)

Sentimental

I usually brisk walk and jog around the neighbourhood.
Most of the time these jogs and time alone (after running with the doggies, that is.) are rather sentimental, nostalgic, reflective.

I went to my usual personal-time spot, it's a sit-up gym bench.
I've teared a few times lying there..
Different seasons in life.
This time, laid there and stared to the skies. Lovely weather.

Had my ipod on... went over to the swing in the park, I was kinda oversized for that swing... but yeah, anyway, didn't really care. The swingy feeling reminded me of the time when I was much younger. Remembered being a pretty tomboyish rough kid, I loved swinging on swings, like really high up. Sometimes even letting go of my hands...
I am quite amazed by the innocence and obliviousness of being a child, swinging up high at almost 90 degrees up the air.

Then one day, I did the same thing and fell off the swing. I hit the left side of my head. it bled. I don't know the severity of the damage caused, really. Sometimes I don't know whether this incident could have caused that cyst in my brain which caused occasional blank spells during my growing days in High School. Most doctors say it may not have caused it. But I only remembered this was the only occasion hitting my head.

Sometimes I wonder whether things would be different if this never happened. Maybe it's got nothing to do with this.
I think what made a difference is that I found God. Through my struggles and imperfection, even physically.
Whether it was the fall that caused this imperfection, it does not matter.
Most importantly, when I sat on the swing, swinging back n forth today, when the wind brushed over my face...I felt freedom, that I am free.
Because when I fell, love came down and rescued me........

Been listening to this song over and over again for the past few weeks...

"Love Came Down" , by Brian and Jenn Johnson

I love it when I hear couples worshipping together.
Side note, I hope I'll be able to experience that with my partner someday.
I really should pick up an instrument.

Reluctance that went both ways..

Have you ever had that experience when you're given an opportunity and yet you are constantly trying push the responsibility away?
I don't fancy that feeling at all. Having a heart unprepared and especially reluctance as my biggest excuse.
Just when I reluctantly take up the responsibility, things happened at work that I became so uptight and emotional about everything that's happening and then now, because on realistic terms, I really can't do it anymore, ironically, I had to 'reluctantly' give the responsibility away to someone else. I was almost in tears when I called the person to take over. How embarrassing.

I don't know whether He decided to take the responsibility off me because I was reluctant. I don't like the feeling of giving other last minute notice or taking over something that I was called to take charge of. I realise that I tend to take matters into my own hands. It's a situation that I always trap myself in. I don't think I should even think too much over it anymore. But I am still writing about this.
Sometimes I blog because I do it as a sense of release, pretending that I am talking to someone. And sometimes even imagining that God is standing somewhere listening to what I am saying about how I feel.

And... side note, I broke my workstation's locker key. The inner part of the key is stuck in the workstation. My manager spotted the other half of it on the floor.
Not sure how that happened because I don't remember hitting against it. Maybe someone's chair hit against it and it broke. The not-so-good part is that I remembered that the facilities guy, Muz, did warn me beforehand that this is the last key available for this workstation as the previous temp staff who was sitting at my place before that did not return the extra key.
Hence, if I lose it (in this manner, damaged it..) that'll be RM50 penalty for that! rawr. ;(

My RM50 workstation key.... putus. ;(((

Yeah it was a rather crapperdoodledoo day for me. Honestly nothing to do with work deadlines, I guess I am just not all that proud of myself not knowing why I am upset --whether I'm being upset with myself (maybe partly) or just the situation itself.
It's an uncomfortable feeling when you know that the situation is out of your control.
That I cannot do anything to change the situation.

Actually, something is in my control, how I deal with my emotions.
I need to let go and let God.
And PMS should not be a valid excuse at all.
I always bring myself to re-read this blogpost (thanks to Jos for linking this to her blog some time back!) when PMS seems to be the most rational excuse in my own understanding.

This is my prayer for the week........................
help me hang on to you dear Father..

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

Tired...blockage of data?

Did this test during YA Camp.
Met Kevin for a briefing through the results.
The conversation lasted for an unexpected 6 hours.

Here's something rather glaring found in one of the graph results, which I am kinda feeling quite a bit of it now..

Reflections Test

Perceptual Orientation Graph

93% Blockage of data; not perceptive of fact
74% General concept retention: primary ideas; essence (this is the saviour that keeps me sane, this is the part that reflects of the brain that is still accepting what others are saying)
72% Triggered fantasy; thinking apart from facts/reality
61% Triggered imagination; innovative use of options
42% Resistance to change; attachment to familiar
32% Dogmatic blockage; set opinions resisting change (Thank God this is not high.. if not I'm bumped.. need a lot of prayer.. haha.)
29% Blockage under stress by anxiety, intimidation etc
21% triggered logicL analytical exploration, procedure
18% Rote retention: verbatim perception & recall re:fact
16% Triggered computation; numerical, statistical


My data blockage is extremely high. Showing a sign that I am burned out. That the brain is not receiving or processing much at the moment. I am running on screensaver mode.
Apparently, I need more of the "triggered fantasy" bit to help myself to destress and relax.
I need to feed myself with, like some out of the world stuff, daydream, watch a movie, stare out into space.

..................


I am honestly.. quite tired.
Lord, renew me afresh again and again, I plead.
Send Angels to assist and give me strength in Jesus' name.
In all that I am, all that I do, I do it for You.
I'm giving all I have.
Refill my cup again, I humbly ask.
Thank You Lord.

Maybe I should pick up a hobby, like fishing. Best activity to daydream on and stare into nothing, i think.

Or I should go catch a movie by myself, watch a chic lit film or something slapstick and laugh or cry my heart out.
bah, i don't know. I need a break wooh. 2011 please come soon.

Gnite everyone.