Hey Friends!
Warning: A very loooooong email. Read it when you are really really free.. or if you cannot finish it at one go, take a toilet break, go have a cuppa in between while you read this....
I wonder how's everyone's Saturday afternoon so far. How was cell meet for those who were there last night? Though it was a small group, but still, I hope you're equally blessed as I am (or more). This probably sounds strange but here I am feeling that I wanna let out some 'verbal diarrhoea' which I wasn't able to express out much during last night's cell meet, as those of you who were there, knew that I wasn't feeling very well. Nonetheless, just want to say a big THANK YOU to those who were there for the support and prayers to sustain me through facilitating 'Word' time. Just to share a GOOD GOOD news, I am feeling a LOT more better today! I hardly coughed! YES! Do NOT short change the power of prayer because it takes only a small mustard seed of faith for God to MOVE mountains! And anyone can have the gift of healing, if only you believe!
Anyway, for the benefit of those who were not there last night, we watched a short skit called "God's Chisel"
Yes, it is a message about God chiseling away the unwanted things in our lives. it could have been pride, anger, comparing to others instead of God, lust, pretending to be busy etc.. These flaws in us could have been stuck on us for so long and yet we do not realise it. Just want to say many thanks to all of you openly shared about your experiences, be it past or present, about how God has pruned you out of being your old self, to who you are today. Also, to those who openly acknowledge that we need to change, although it is hard. You guys are awesome, and I love your transparency because it makes me feel a lot better knowing that I am as sinful as you are but we are here to encourage one another to grow out of our hindrances in allowing God to chisel us to who He desires for us to become ==> more like HIS SON.
Just to recap on my testimony for those who were not there, I shared that I used to be a very performance-driven person. Ever since I was young, I have been a stage-person. I used dance, sing, go for story-telling competitions etc a lot.. so yeah, I grew up in an environment where I liked to be noticed and self-image is very important to me. I always wanted to win and I wanted to be excellent in everything I do so that I could sustain the confidence that the people around me have in me. I loves the trophies that I have won and I enjoyed counting them every end of the year during the prize-giving ceremony in school. Yes, I was one of the popular stage girl in school.
After coming out of primary school, I moved away from KL and went up to Penang. When I was in Penang, I felt that I lost a big part of my life. In this little island, no one knew who I am, no one knew that I was a performer etc. I was a nobody. I kept a very low profile. Until 2 years later, I felt that I missed the stage, I decided to participate in a choral speaking competition. During the day of the competition, I felt lots of butterflies in my stomach and I felt very nervous, to the extent that I actually threw up before the competition. I was once the President of the Interact Club, I went up the stage to deliver a speech, I couldn't stop shaking. Many at the at the floor noticed. Through these incidents, I felt that I lost my confidence in myself. I wasn't who I was anymore. I lost my confidence in speaking in public and my desires of being in the limelight just faded away.
Looking back at these experiences, I felt that God was really chiseling me out of many things. He was chiseling me away from being a people-pleaser. He was also chiseling me away from being self-dependent, always thinking that, "it is I who can do it!" He was chiseling me away from being a 'performer'. He knew I was desiring so much to gain the approval of men.
I am not saying that He has finished His works in me. Until today, I believe He is still moulding me and pruning me in my character. In His own way, He is showing me that it is not by my own strength or capabilities that I could do certain things, He was showing me that I needed Him. He had to gently push me out of my insecurities and thoughts of inadequacy to show that His love has no boundaries. He has placed me in places to serve where I felt not too comfortable in (eg. back in Australia, I used to serve in the Worship Ministry). As much as I felt that I didn't want to be 'up there', He placed me 'up there' because in this relationship that we have with Him, HE HOLDS US UP, whenever we fall. And I can testify that. I believe it is the same in many parts of your lives too. In all honesty, yes, it takes a lot of courage for me to come back again, to serve, even to facilitate "Word" time. As mentioned, I fear being in front of a crowd when all eyes are on me. So yes, again, thank you for your support and prayers. I know it probably wasn't the 'best' that I could have done, but you know what, God is not looking for someone who is willing to perform, but He is looking for someone who's wiling to avail themselves, even if it has to take us out of our comfort zone. I really wanna applaud Jonathan for availing himself 2 weeks ago to serve together with me as my faithful guitarist during worship time. Really, like I said, it is not about playing the right keys or sounding great, but just wanna assure you that you were AWESOME that night. I know full well that God is pleased that you are worshipping Him with your Gifts despite your tiredness in preparing for your KK trip, you still came to serve. I wished I said it last night, so that we could applaud you again, but aiya, forgive me for not remembering, so, FRIENDS, let's REPLY to a VIRTUAL applause to JON, ok?? :) *CLAP CLAP CLAP* Looking forward to serving with you more, brother!
I really liked what Colin shared last night, when he said that God is changing us and it is for our benefit, and it is something that will last through eternity (ok la, something like what you said, can't remember the exact words!). Looking back at the trophies that I have won (haha, can check it out at my family hall..), These trophies are just plastic stuff which does not have much substance or use to it. When I leave this world, I can't carry these trophies with me. Through this, I realise one thing, one thing that I am bringing along with me when I meet my Father in Heaven, is ME. I am HIS TROPHY that will last till ETERNITY. I am WORTH IT because I AM HIS MASTERPIECE. I am His PRIZED-POSSESSION.
James 1:18 (NLT) says: "He chose to give birth to us by giving us His true word. And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession...
Wow, do you get that? Not just me, but you too, are someone’s prized possession! Not just someone’s prized possession; but God Almighty’s prized possession!
Really, why do we have to go through all these painful, chiseling moments in our walk with God, just like how it says in the skit, the moment you said that you want to receive Him as your Lord and Saviour, He never promised that it was going to be easy. But one thing I believe is that, it is worth it. God doesn't create junk. He creates something that he can be PROUD of. When He created you, he said that you are GOOD. The Message Bible says “…showing us off as the crown…” WOW. He wants to chisel you to be more like His son, Jesus Christ, so that he can show us off!How cooool is that?
4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) 6 For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. 7 So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. - Ephesians 2:4-7 (NLT)
Yes, let us not be picky in how he can shape us. Be open with what He wants to chisel off in you so that you can become is everlasting masterpiece. So yeah, let's do this together as a cell. By His grace, we can be changed!
So, the same question I asked the cell last night,
What is it that God is chiseling away in you right now, and how are you responding to it?
Have a think about it Friends..
Hope you are blessed..... told you it was verbal diarhhoea... (a good one, i hope!) HAHA...
And bless you, fellow blogger reader :)
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