PaPaaa...I just killed a COCKROACH!!! =D

It's one of those nights again when I spent my time at the living room watching a Taiwanese drama on "Hua Hee Tai". It was commercial time and something twitched my mind and at the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a little figure crawling on the wall that's beside the dining table behind me -- "Oh, it's just a lizard. Doesn't bother me at all." Strangely as it may sound, I thought, "If it was Mr.Cockroach, how would I react, instead?? " I've got cockroach phobia..I confess. bwahaha.

Anyways, after the drama, I thought I'll just head on upstairs to my room to do some unpacking.. (yes, so I have been procrastinating.). It felt a little warm that night so I decided to switch on the air-con. To my dismay, a big black gooey creature crawled out of the air-con---jeng jeng jeng.... my nightmare of meeting Mr.Cockroach turned into reality!!! ACCKckk!!! Now I don't even have to imagine how I'd react when I come cross that.. that.. thing!! 'Live' in action! I flipped and ran all the way downstairs and yelled, "Papa....!!! There's a cockroach in my room!! Kill it for me now pleasssseeee!!" Both my parents literally burst out laughing and teased my cowardly behaviour by saying, "Aiyoh, cockroach also you scared, how are you going to face bigger obstacles of the world?? Cham liao lah! Tsk tsk!!" (Embarrassing, I know!!) So, Papa tried hitting the cockroach on the wall with my ruler (Oh...why my ruler, paa??? =S) but it fell to the floor behind the sofa bed in my room... trapped in that dark corner with some of my old boxes. He told me he couldn't get it, so as long as I leave it alone, nothing will happen.

With this phobia stuck in me ever since I could remember, I couldn't let go of that fear. It's an irrational fear, I know, but many fears are irrational, anyway. It doesn't keep them from freaking you out so badly that you scream your head off. The only thing causing me to consider going after the cockroach was an even more irrational fear that the ghastly creature, if left alive, would wait until I was sleeping tonight and then crawl up my bedpost, into my sheets, and tickle my feet or something!!! I know this sounds funny, I said a prayer to God and asked Him to protect me.. from that cockroach.. *LoL* I decided that I wanted to overcome this so-called "irrational fear"-- I braved myself and shared the same room with Mr.Cockroach that night.

Woke up the next morning, no sign of it. Very good. Didn't really give it much thought after that, thinking that perhaps God answered my prayer and it probably found its way out of my room to somewhere else. Hurrah!! =P

Went online at night and caught up with some peeps on MSN. It's nice to hear from some familiar people again. (Thanks, Sean, for saying 'something'. *wink*) Interestingly, we were talking "deep" stuff, i'd say... spiritual stuff leh...haha. Suddenly, I felt something tickled across my feet... I looked down and I saw THE cockroach scurrying about underneath my chair!! (Sean, you know the rest of the story..haha) (That's me on the left, turning blue after that tingling feeling at my feet. just kidding!)
EeWW.. I stood up, surprisingly, I didn't overreact but I told myself that I want to kill that thing with my barehands (well, maybe not literally.. with a paper, at least!!) this time. I scrambled around the room looking for an old magazine or newspaper. I picked up the my sister's Cleo Magazine (sorry jie... :P) and I chased after it and gave it a few good whacks but it escaped to the back of the sofa bed again! Taking a deep breath, I pushed the sofa bed away from the wall, the little thing scurried out of the sofa and ran towards my brother's room. Argh, I thought if smacking it to death is not gonna work, Baygon Spray's gotta come to the rescue!! Muahaha..Though I didn't like the very idea, there was no other way, though! I just bathed the cockroach with a fine spray of the poison. Alas! The poor thing eccentrically exhibited a Brownian motion of sorts before falling on its back, only to give up, unable to withstand the torturing stings of the spray. All was over in minutes. Picked up the creature with LAYERS of toilet roll, and I proudly flushed it down the toilet bowl..Nyahaha!! I just overcame one of the biggest fears of my life!I JUST KILLED A COCKROACH!!

That "cockroach drama" actually made me ponder upon the word "fear". The passage about David facing Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 crossed my mind...

David did not listen to the lies of the enemy. He saw Goliath for what he was: a perverter of truth. The lies of the enemy results in hopelessness in our hearts and accusations against God and others. The enemy’s lies are intended to impress us, to gain a foothold in our thought patterns, and to strike fear in our hearts. In 1 Samuel 17:44, Goliath said, “Come to me and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and beasts of the field.” Ain't that a lie or what?? David responded to Goliath by speaking truth to him: “You come to me with a sword and a spear and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, whom you have defied.”

Someone once said that 90 percent of the things we fear never happen. A further 9 percent we often make happen ourselves. For instance, a person who has a deep fear of failure, may get himself so anxious about failing, he will make himself fail.
Our "Goliaths" may actually be just as big as a cockroach and we could have easily defeat it with just an effortless whack but it's interesting how man can exaggerate the truth and cling on to lies of fear and defeat so easily, no?? We shouldn't be defiled by the schemes of the enemy implanting lies into our minds but we should learn from the example of David. Let's face our "little cockroach Goliaths" with great boldness, for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline, yeah?? (2 Timothy 1:7)

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is being afraid and still doing what you know needs to be done anyway.”

So Papa (note the pun.. hehe.. I mean both of you. *wink*) I killed a cockroach, perhaps I can face other obstacles of the world now, you think?? =P

PS: I was contemplating whether to take a photo of that dead cockroach to celebrate my victory and post it up here but I thought it'll be a little too disgusting for some of us to bear. Hmm...maybe I should put up a photo of a CAT for Amelia instead, hopefully that'll encourage her to overcome her fear for cats. hahaha.. kidding!