Jesus' wings: Let him fill your "love tank"

I sensed in my spirit, together with some of us with similar "tuggings" that we should continue to seek God and really carry on with the attitude of worship within us. It's really amazing when you know that God is speaking to us when people around you catch similar sensing through different means -- dreams, songs, the Word. 

Last night in cell meeting, we had a deep time of reflection through sharing testimonies, extended time of praise and worship, communion and prayer. Over the past weeks, it has been physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining for me. Even as I attempted to prepare myself for cell meeting this week, I felt challenged and I couldn't concentrate....perhaps overwhelmed by an ordeal that I was struggling through. There were nights where I was so drained that I just lazed on the sofa, stare at the TV watching American Idol, I didn't feel like doing anything.

One night during that quiet moment with God, a passage came to mind. 

Didn't think much of it. Wrote it in my journal. Not sure what God was impressing in my heart. 

Recently, the ordeal that I was going through, it took its toll and "erupted". My ignorance suddenly woke up, realising that my actions crushed a person. 

When I finally came to terms with this, when I looked to the person in the eye, I saw hurt, brokenness.  I suddenly had a God-moment, the passages that God gave me came hitting me in the face. 

"44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

~Luke 7:44-47

I recalled a revelation that I had from a book that I read some time back about this passage.  

...her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” 

When Jesus came to Simon, who was apparently the host, treated Jesus like an "unwanted" guest, in today's context, he didn't "open the door for him, shake his hand" - meaning...he had  no manners. 

However, the woman, so lowly who didn't even deserve to be named, unkindly only known as the "sinful" woman, did all that Simon didn't. She came thirsty and hungry. Thirsty for guilt, hungry for regret. 

Simon, didn't even know whether he is thirsty or hungry. He doesn't even asks for grace. He's too proud but instead take on the grace and dissects it intellectually, debate on it etc. 

The sinful woman, experienced an immeasurable extent of forgiveness, she knew what love really meant. And because of this, she couldn't stop tasting Jesus' love and love is filled into her "love tank". 

Simon, didn't ask or desired for grace nor forgiveness, he doesn't even know the existence of a love tank. His love tank was "empty". 

I sensed a question came to me, "How's your love tank?"  

Then I felt in my heart an impression came and told me, "You are like Simon." 

I almost couldn't hold back my tears. I was crushed that I didn't realise how far I have gone from his love. My love tank has gone unattended and rusty. My actions reflected it all. 

"While she had ample love to give, he had no love to offer."

I couldn't give real love. I felt like Judas giving Jesus' a kiss. 

I could probably speak eloquently about God's love, go to church, pray, worship God...  but I couldn't embrace it and I had none to give. And the emptiness of lack of love showed in my actions. 

I remembered some time back, I was challenged to do this. 

Try paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 by replacing the word "Love" with my name and recite it out loud. (Try it.... see how far can you go.)


"Miranda is patient, Miranda is kind. Miranda does not envy, Miranda does not boast, Miranda is not proud....."

Wooah.. wooah... hold up there....
I couldn't even recite half of it when I attempted to do it during the time of reflection in cell meet this week. I realised that I was none of these. I would be the biggest liar if I dare say these. Most of the time, we say it so conveniently. We take it so lightly. We take it for granted that by our own strength, we will never be able to become any of these. 

Only one person who ever walked the face of the earth could. JESUS. 

And if we read the same passage by replacing the word LOVE with JESUS......

"Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast, Jesus is not proud. Jesus is not rude, Jesus is not self-seeking, Jesus is not easily angered, Jesus keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jesus always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails."

We know he meets it all. 

Rather than reminding ourselves that we cannot produce such love, let's remind us of the love that we cannot resist! God's love. 

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." ~ 1 John 4:9-10

I don't know about you, I was disappointed by what had happened to me this week. But for me right now, I want to be the sinful woman. I want to be called the sinful woman without a name. 

I need to taste the forgiveness of God, so that I can learn how to love once again.... 

We need to receive HIS LOVE in order to GIVE LOVE. Because we cannot give what we do not have. Embrace how much He loves you so that you know how to love the unlovable, those who have hurt you, disappoint you, betrayed you, crushed you. 

Question. Once again, how's your love tank?

...Half-full?

...A quarter full? 

...Almost empty? 

...Leaking? 

...Damaged? 

Luke 7:47 ~ It reflects Jesus' wings of love in the form a 747 aircraft. Let his love lift you up the the next level. Let his love set you free through forgiveness. 


Come thirsty and hungry this season of Easter, taste his love once again... fill up your "love tank" with the love from the one and only who can satisfy....

"How He Loves"

by John Mark McMillan

He is jealous for me

Loves like a hurricane

I am a tree

Bending beneath

The weight of his wind and mercy

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these

Afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize how beautiful you are

And how great your afflictions for me

Oh how he loves us so

Oh how he loves us

How he loves us so

Yea He loves us

Oh how

We are his portion

And he is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes

If grace is an ocean we're all sinking

So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss

And my heart burns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way

He loves us

Oh how he loves us so

Oh how he loves us

How he loves us so

 

Pondering lent... Being Simon

Preparing bible discussion for the season of lent has been pretty reflective for me this season. Just last Friday in cellgroup, we shared about living a life that counts for God, and also finishing the race well. Reading through the passages on Mark 15:16-39, as I pondered upon what verses stood out to me, there were a few. However, two distinctively stayed imprinted in my mind until today. And they were passages that mentioned about "The Crucifixion". 


First observation..

(v21) "Then they compelled a certain man, Simon a Cyrenian, the father of Alexander and Rufus, as he was coming out of the country and passing by, to bear His cross."


I thought of this question...


"Why of all people among the crowd, Simon of Cyrene was selected to carry the cross?"
I did some research and came across these findings....


The word compelled was actually of the same word used in Matthew 5:41, that says, "And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two", and it refers to the Romans who had the authority to order any Jew to perform any activity in the service of Caesar, and the Latin word comes from the literal meaning of the Persian word is to be “pressed into the service of a king” . Guess what, he actually was serving a king! He probably had not realised yet, is that the king that he was "compelled" to serve that day was not the king of Rome, but the king of Israel, JESUS! Imagine the shame of having to walk right behind a condemned man, bearing the burden of what he may think that wasn't his, obligated to carry the cross with a journey which felt like as long as walking through a desert without water. 


As he journey through, I believe Simon would have gradually realise that the man he had walked behind, was actually his saviour who had borne his transgressions. On that very important day, it was Simon's first meeting with his Saviour,  as he looked at the eyes of Christ, the thing that would have impressed Simon is that he didn’t see the eyes of a guilty man, nor an angry man, nor a defeated man. I would have imagined what he saw was the look of determined man who wanted to go to Golgotha, a man who wanted Simon to bear the cross and help him to that destiny, a man who wanted to go there, and I thought I should emphasise  (v23) ....they gave Him wine mingled with myrrh to drink, but He did not take it..." after tasting it and knowing that it was to numb his pain, he chose to endure EVERY SIN that hurts to the deepest part of his skin and bones. And maybe, when he got there Jesus might have uttered quiet ‘thank you Simon’ as the burden was lifted off Simon.


Remember the passage it says that Simon was coming out of the countryside into the city of Jerusalem, and Jesus was being brought out Jerusalem.... these two men were travelling in opposite directions on that day. Notice a symbolic act that took place, Simon was called to serve the king of kings, he had to "turn around" and as you can see, he started walking towards the opposite direction, "the way of Jesus". His life was completely turned around by this meeting of the crucified Christ! His steps now follows Christ! 


Isn't this amazing?? What about you? Do you know that we are all called to be the "Simon of Cyrenes" of today? Through the sacrifice of our Lord, we have experienced the love of Jesus,  Just like the depiction of a mother giving birth to a child (quote: Amanda, "pop~!" xD) , she would refuse the epidural, Jesus refused the wine with myrrh, Jesus ran his race well, he did not give up nor take the "short cut" and he endured all the way. 
If God had called you this day, to "take up your cross and follow me", would you do it? 


I found this sharing online written on someone's blog about 
"The Cyrene Privilege: Being Simon".. as promised here's the excerpt of the poem.. 



....Loud and spitting people,
Cruel and frightful looking soldiers,
'Swish', the cane, time and time again!
Pandemonium, dust, anger, smell of blood.


Beaten man, battered man!
Heavy cross;They must really hate this guy.
I'll really hate to be him right now
All around; curses, stones, laughter, mockery.
What could he have really done to deserve all this?


Holy-looking pharisees,
Frightful looking followers; Crying women... this is crazy !


I should be on my way... WHAT!?
Me ? Take the cross ? Help him ? Why me ? Oh no!?
I was just passing, just watching ?!
I am out of luck!


This is really heavy! What could he have done to deserve this ?
How could he have anymore energy to lift this after all this beating and maiming?
Look at him - By God and the prophets, what has he done? Don't these people have pity?


Will I be able ? This Cross is weighing me down! I didn't bargain for this.
Its not mine to carry. This is killing me---all for someone I barely know.


This man... look at him...scarred, bloodied, hurt!
But the peace in his eyes, the humility in his step, the meekness in his pain, the determination in his countenance. He really believes he is up to something groundbreaking here.
This Jesus must be made out of stone!. Why is he doing this ? Why not just denounce and go his way ?
Why will he endure all this ? And go through all this ? Didnt I hear Pilate gave him a way out ?


He must really believe what he is doing.
He must really love his followers...
He must really really be committed to his cause and His Father.
I guess  helping him out is not that bad after all.
I suppose I can carry for a few metres , what he has carried a whole long way!
I think I can help this man, even if I was only forced to do it.
I think I will bear the weight, only if to give him some temporal respite.


I think I can do it.


I think i can; I know I should; Its the right thing to do ...


I always wondered what Simon of Cyrene thought when he was ordered to help Jesus carry his cross unto Calvary. I was gonna preach on this but i really cannot do it justice ...not at this time. So I just put down some disjoint thoughts.


History and the Bible don't give enough information about him for us to know if he was or wasn't a follower of Christ. Either way, he secures a very enviable place in my heart, as being the one man to have helped Jesus on his way to save me. I cant expound anymore on this but just say that, whatever his intentions were, and however it came to be that he was asked to help the King of Kings -  It was a privilege no one else in the world would ever  have again!


I would have loved to be Simon of Cyrene... I don't know about you.
But to carry the cross, endure the whip, the scorching sun, the dust, the dirt, the stones, and the curses.
I would have loved - if only for a short way off - to have helped my Saviour, as he toiled to save me.
I would have loved to be Simon of Cyrene, even if i didn't intend on being him from the start.


Maybe Simon didn't know the 'why', but I do.
Maybe Simon didn't want to try, but I would.
Maybe Simon wasn't sure of it all , but I  am.


I would have loved to help my Saviour, my redeemer, my king.
I would have been scared, but I would have loved to try...show him, how much he meant to me.
Such that if carrying that cross was all I could do , I would have carried it like a king carried a crown.


But wait! I think I still can!
I can still carry my cross - And be Simon in my own way...my own very small way.
I can bear the cross of the world, love my enemies, endure scorn for righteousness.
I think I still can stand for the right, and say no to wrong, and go against the tide.
I think I still can love my neighbour, help the needy, forgive my wrongdoers.
I think I can still carry the cross and follow my Jesus .
I might not be Simon, but I think I can still try to help Jesus , My Lord.


'Cos I know He did it for no one else but me.
'Cos I know the blood,the sweat, the tears....were shed for me.
'Cos I know he deserved it not, but bore it all.
And 'cos I know it was gonna be alright, come Easter Sunday.


=============

Let's prepare our hearts during this season of lent and spend some time to reflect on Jesus and his love for us in our lives....  


Worthy is the lamb, that was slain... 

Take My Life....

I feel so liberated. I can't think of a better word to describe how I feel..

Take my life. What I once have I count it all as loss..

It's all just light with you in my life...

TAKE MY LIFE...

"Take my life & let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee
Take my moments & my days
Let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands & let them move
At the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet & let them be swift & beautiful for Thee

Take my voice & let me sing always, only, for my King
Take my lips & let them be filled with messages from Thee
Take my silver & my gold, not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect & use every power as You choose

Here am I
All of me
Take my life
It is all for Thee

Take my will & make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine
Take my heart, it´s Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at your feet its treasure store
Take myself & I´ll be ever, only, all for Thee

Take my life & let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee"

My experience in the East.

Missions trip report submitted a few weeks back written by yours truly.

Excuse the English and all... I wrote it really late at night and blabbered whatever came through the mind... ;)

Also edited off some parts and names too.

I personally like the last few paragraphs the best. ha-ha.

============================

"Remaja Sabah" experience

Few things that impacted me during this Camp experience were the closeness and tightness of the team. Though we had our differences, I believe through much prayer together, we all went with one focus and purpose, to bless and empower as much as God enable us to.

Throughout the Camp, we faced some obstacles. We had a few blackouts and also, 2 (??) of the vans ferrying the (Pemuda-pemudi) PMMs broke down on their way to Ranau. I believe obstacles happened to affect the plans of God. Thank God, through prayer, the electricity always came back on time when we start our sessions. I remembered that on the first night, the PMMs were quite tired from their journey travelling to Ranau. However, I believe our God is greater than the enemy, all these obstacles did not stop the PMMs from their zealousness and excitement for what’s in store in this Camp.

These PMMs are very musically and they all loved to sing and dance. Whenever the SIBKL team was off the instruments before we start the day or during break time, they would eagerly take over the instruments and start to play Praise and Worship song. By 7am every morning, their P&W music in the hall was almost like our “morning call” to get out of bed. Every song that they sing, there would be hand actions accompanying it. A 17-year-old girl, B told me that one of the activities they do for Pelayanan Remaja is to create new dance steps or hand actions for new P&W songs!

I sensed that the PMMs were very hungry for God and are looking forward to receive and learn in this Camp. I felt that some were far away from God and needed to feel God’s Father’s love once again. It was truly evident especially during the worship session on the first night when we sang the song, “Dalamnya KasihMu Bapa”. As it was the first night, I believe that was the first touch that God wanted the PMMs to receive… the Father’s love, the first love that they may have not experienced for a long time. Many of them desired for it, and God’s presence and love just fell on that night. So many of them just fell to the ground, got slain by the spirit, many went on their knees, many wept uncontrollably. One girl was slain in the spirit during worship session and did not get up until the preaching session ended. Her name is M and she is part of my mentor group.

During our Saat Teduh time (Devotion time with six 17-year-old girls), M shared about her experience on that night, she shared that she was previously involved in a relationship and she almost fell into temptation. She felt dirty and unclean. On that night, when she was slain on the ground, she saw a man dressed in white holding on to her hand and asked her to just grab his hand and follow him. She told the man that she was very nervous and she doesn’t want to follow him. But the man said something like this, “Jangan takut, ikut saya, saya ingin bagi kamu sesuatu.” Then she said that she felt water started to gush down from the top of her head to her whole body. She felt so much at peace and the experience was indescribable. I believe God is doing a great work of restoration in her life!

I also asked them whether they do spend Saat Teduh with God. All of them say that they don’t. They usually only pray in corporate prayer meetings. I encouraged them to spend Saat Teduh with God every morning before they start their day. I shared with them personal testimonies on how Saat Teduh has blessed me greatly. I could see that they were so hungry to learn that they actually tried to copy down most of the testimonies I shared and bible verses that I quoted. They would literally lean forward towards me when I talk! I have never seen such hunger and earnestness to learn in my life!

When we parted, one of my girls teared. C dropped me an SMS the next day and said this: “Saya rasa sangat sedih terus dalam kereta saya nyanyi tiga lagu sedih… lepas tu saya nampak bintang di langit yg berbentuk salib, terus rasa sedih pun hilang, saya rasa begitu senang…”.

I believe the spirit of God and His love for the youths of Sabah is just so evident. His presence is always so near them and He really desires to touch their lives.

Post Kem PMM, I try my best to keep in touch with the girls in my mentor group. I am still in touch with some of them through SMSes, for those who own a mobile phone. I text them a memory verse every start of the week and some words of encouragement. S still SMSes me with prayer requests. Just a few days ago, Eri called me using a public phone after school to “tanya khabar”. I was so elated to hear from her! She was almost weeping on the phone when she talked to me.

On a more personal note, just a few weeks ago, I have been praying about a crossroad on whether to leave for Australia to maintain my PR status. I was surrounded with many opinions and almost all of them - my parents, my relatives, my friends and colleagues suggested that I should not let go of the PR as it will be a waste. I was challenged - I was all set to come up with an exit plan to go ahead for Australia. However, whenever I prayed for God to give me the peace to leave for Australia, I had all sorts of mixed feelings. I kept wondering why is it that everyone says go, but something is holding me back. I was struggling a lot in hoping, surrendering and trusting God in my future.

During my quiet time, I reflected upon my experience in Kem PMM, I felt that I was challenged and I wasn’t living out what I shared to the girls I felt that I took my life upon myself and did not place my hope and trust in God. . I realised that I was waiting for a peace that would not come. I was living in self-gratification. I felt as if I was living a double-life. I didn’t feel that I was being a true shepherd to His sheeps. In Kem PMM, I have seen and felt in my own heart how much God desires to restore and bless the people of Sabah, especially the youths. I believe God created a deeper burden in my heart for my own nation. I sensed that indeed there is great hope for the youths of Sabah… and our nation. Whatever that was shared and experienced in Kem PMM spoke to me personally. God wants me to be SERIOUS with Him too…

So yes, the conclusion of my decision, my place in this season of my life, is MALAYSIA, TANAH AIR-ku.

I am not going anywhere. I couldn’t describe the peace and sense of liberation I felt when I finally came to terms to say that, PR – I let go of you, MALAYSIA, I am here for you.

AMEN… God is good. Malaysia for JESUS! ;)

=============END===============

The Missions Team from KL... wouldn't ask for a better team. ;)

The whole group!!

3 -week break

The 3 week-break starts now..........

Yay.. no more Project Tulip for a while~.

Prophetic Conference in Penang, here I come~

Singapore, should I still pay you a visit?

Myanmar Refugee kids Christmas party, hope you'll turn out to be a blessing.

Kuantan, do I still have time for you?

Madworld, 3 more dose of you in SIBKL .... (I seriously don't mind! :D)

Hmm, I really am quite a lousy planner with holiday breaks.

No wonder I haven't gone for a proper holiday since New Zealand in December 2006.

hurm...

MADWORLD...

What is the value of a human life?

We live in a world of the unexpected -- a mad world which seems to make little sense. In a world where tragedies beyond our imagination happen at preposterous proportions on a daily basis, how is it possible for us to continue to live as if there is no tomorrow?

Why do we care only about our own existence, when others around us could be drowning? Who are we and what is our ultimate worth? What gives a man his value -- his riches or his power over others? Have we lost the value of human lives?

What about those whose lives are shattered by shattering -- has God been unkind to them? Don't they matter?

MadWorld makes an effort to explore answers to the questions above via two main characters -- Adam and Lucas. As Adam confronts Lucas and vice versa, they're exposed to differences related to one another that centers on: "What is the value of a human soul?"

Excerpt from this website.

Video promo here..

To find out more, come visit these venues at these times for an artistic impression of the message above...

DUMC Dream Centre, Section 13, PJ | Click here for map
3 December 2010, Friday – 8.00pm
5 December 2010, Sunday – 3.30pm
5 December 2010, Sunday – 8.00pm (Yes, 2 shows on Sunday!)
Ticketing: No tickets, just show up.

SIBKL Auditorium, Bangunan Yin (next to Phileo Damansara I) | Click here for map
24 December 2010, Friday – 8.00pm
25 December 2010, Saturday – 7.30pm
26 December 2010, Sunday – 10.00am
26 December 2010, Sunday – 7.30pm (Yes, 2 shows on Sunday!)
Ticketing: Contact your SIB friends or call +603-7957 2701.

Ticketing opens early November 2010

Remembering Evangelism

About 2 weeks back we had our prayer meeting centered around Evangelism.
On that same night, my pastor returned some notes that I lent to her some time back on Evangelism which was written by Hope Church.
In the coming year, the church will be focusing on evangelism.
I remember how EVAX used to be a weekly lifestyle for me and some of us back in uni.
I have to admit that it's been buried for a long time since I returned.
And I knew I have to reignite that fire again.... it should be a lifestyle!

And... guess who I bumped into at prayer meeting that night..........

...... PETER TROUNG!!!! Check his blog and website on this link.
He was in town for a short visit before heading to Cambodia for ministry. God is seriously using him to bless many lives around the world now.
Evangelism has literally became his FULL TIME job!

The guy who introduced Everyday Evangelism 1 and 2 and the "sifu" of EVAX!
And I can really say that he really lives out Romans 1:16.
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes..."

Looks like it's a sign!!! Time to pick up that EE1 book and flip through it once again...