PLEASE READ: This is an extremely long post so if you have short attention span (you know who you are!! *ahem ahem*), please read only when you are very, very bored or maybe take breaks in between, like have a drink or go to the toilet or whatever after you finish a paragraph..Hi everyone ^^
This post is specially created for you--Judah Seventeers. I don't know whether I will continue blogging, we'll see in time to come. Perhaps this blog may help to bridge that gap across the ocean so that we can keep each other updated. This post was meant to be an email, but I thought it got a little way too long and I wanted to throw in some photos as well, hence, I opted to post it here. =)
Sorry this came a little late. I should have done this earlier. Just a short note to everyone that I have landed safely back in good ol' Penang, Malaysia.
It's quite surreal for me to be back here in Malaysia. It felt more like stepping into a "foreign land" instead of returning home. Many may not have heard of this part of my story, stepping out of my "spiritual umbrella" ain't an easy step. Leaving Brisbane was actually the last thing on my mind when I was faced with this unexpected news about my mum not feeling very fit. I expected only a month's holiday back home and I felt that I was ready for the next leg of the race in Brisbane for 2008. I felt that I could achieve more in Brisbane. Ironically, here I am now, I have left Brisbane for good. I battled with God asking why did all this happen. However, I believe one thing that really, really blew my mind was when God revealed this passage to me in Matthew 14:25-32 where it speaks about Peter challenging himself to walk towards Jesus...on water.
God challenged me to put myself in Peter's position for a moment. Jesus was passing by.. perhaps I already had snippets of insight into what Jesus is wanting me to do (I would dare testify, yes. Some of you may have heard.). I saw him, and he stood there at the other end of the lake, inviting me to go for an "adventure" of my life. At the same time, let's just say, I was scared to the brim. And the question is, which one would I choose--the choppy, life-threatening water, or the safe, secure and comfortable boat?
When God showed me that, I think I went through the toughest dilemma of my life. I had trouble sleeping, my spirit kept tugging.. I hid in my room crying like a baby desperately. Many times I asked God, "Are you asking me to leave Brisbane?? This can't be right. It's not written in my plan. It doesn't make any sense. What would people think of me? I can't leave just like that." God, being God (hehe..) He made me read the passage carefully, once again. He showed me how Peter ignored the opinions of the rest of the 11 disciples and took that step of faith to step out of the boat. The 11 disciples may think that Peter was out of his mind, but his attitude of obedience by throwing himself into the "unknown" allowed him to experience a true taste of God's power and glory. By taking that first step, Peter was able to walk on water. Take note, not by his own ability, but by the faith that he entrusted in God, knowing that it is by His spirit that he could walk on water (Zechariah 4:6)
So.. yeah... I did something "religious" this time. I stepped out of my "boat". I am still at chapter one, first passage, now. I'm still trying to do my "balancing act" on water, entrusting my wobbly feet to Him. It seriously amazes me how God really assured me so greatly during this period of testing. Yep, the storm at the ocean is scary, the wind is blowing. I even imagined the thought of sinking (just like Peter did.). Nonetheless, I will never turn back with regret making this decision because God has already assured me by saying, "Take heart, it is I. Do not be afraid." I heard him saying, "Come" , and here I am now. I choose to believe that He will not withhold anything good for those who loved Him (Romans 8:28)
Honestly, I did wonder how do I praise God in times like these? I sense discouragement, disappointment, frustration in the air and I can't help but swinging my arms in the air to sweep them away or sometimes even tempted to throw the towel saying, "I give up." However, when I lift up my arms, I was prompted to look up a little harder. The song "Praise You In the Storm" by Casting Crowns kept resounding in me. Why did I lift my arms? Instead of keeping busy wiping what's blurring my vision, how about I let my arms be lifted to praise and worship Jesus? I was reminded once again, my help will always come from the Lord. (Psalm 121) Then I saw it differently, praise God that He allowed this to happen. Mummy and Papa rededicated their lives to God. They are going to church every week. We started to pray for Mummy's healing every night together. We say grace before each meals. All in all, it brought the family closer. What more could I ask for?
I am called to return to make a difference. The 5 Ws and How, I do not know. Let's just say, I surrendered to Him. He will direct me. (Proverbs 3:5-6, classic!!)
Anyway, I hope that my sharing served its purpose as an encouragement to all of you. Perhaps God has called some of you to step out of your comfort zone, as well. Maybe God may have tugged you to rise up to serve as a discipler, lead a lifegroup, or maybe go forth and join a church planting team... (kudos, MelMel!!!)..what's stopping you? Remember, it's not how you can do it, it's how God can do it through you! A calling is something you discover, not something you choose.
During my last 3 weeks in Brisbane, I pondered and asked God, "Did I really make a difference here, in Brisbane? Can people see You through me? Have I touched lives?" During the farewell night when we went through a time of sharing, God really spoke to me through all of you. It made me think, "I really did that??" I couldn't even imagine people tearing for my departure. Looking back at the path I walked through in Brisbane, I couldn't help it but give all the glory to God. Because He choose me first (Ephesians 1:4), I fell in love with Him. Because of His first love, He created my passion for people and His Great Commission. Thank YOU, Jesus.
Also, besides God, perhaps I didn't say this properly to everyone, but I really want to say thank YOU all for making me who I am, today. All of you--your encouragement, your heart of worship, your passion for GOD and people and the Great Commission inspired me so much to keep my chin up for God. You guys have made my almost-4 years stay in Brisbane an experience of a lifetime. You all hold a very special place in my heart. When I think Acts 2 church, I couldn't help it but fitting all of you, Judah Seventeers into that picture frame. I will never stop speaking fondly of all of you =) I love this quote from Didi: "Once a Seventeer, always a Seventeer." (Wee, 2008) =D
I am trying to shun away the thought of saying that I am not very good in expressing myself with words, so I decided to swallow my pride and stop belittling myself and so, here are some snippets of what I have to say to individual ones in the lifegroup. (I seriously spent almost the whole day preparing this!)
Amelia - I… am… gonna miss my Honda Accord KTV sessions with you~~!! Jom supper in ASIA.. even BETTER! Thank God for the opportunity to get to know you better in the past 3 weeks. Let’s not just dream dreams but trust that the Lord of the Gift (hint: cooking) is wise, He knew exactly what He was doing when He created you. I am believing for many more opportunities to catch up, ya?? “I mizz you like crazy~~” (Moffatts, I forgot which year.) *sobz*
Atieno – I love the way you express yourself when you share about your journey with God. It made me realize again & again how real our God is in our lives. How you depict God revealing Himself in your life makes me want to know Him even more. I am going to miss those times when we could just hang around and chat about anything under the sun. A friend like you just makes walking with God even more exciting. I will visit Kenya during my lifetime.. I’ll see you then =)
Charmaine – Though you don’t really speak much, but your presence in my life just spice things up. Cracks me up when I see you nodding attentively to what I say.. though most of the time I am not making any sense… I think! =P Keep growing in your walk with God. You can do more than what you can imagine! I have faith in you.
Christine – You’re such a go-getter! As you go on to achieve big dreams, I sincerest prayer is to see you surrendering your hopes and dreams to God. I really appreciate this friendship that we built in Brisbane. I see a great hunger for God in you. Keep running the good race, businesswoman of God! =D Who knows, you’ll see me as an entrepreneur one day, too. *wink* Let’s win the marketplace for Jesus!
Diana –… my fellow OCD-er in everything (well, almost!).. we went against our principles wei…tsunami partner~~that is oh-so-not-us! Also, my fellow "kaki" in thick-skinnedness, lameness... Oh Jackpot, I am so gonna visit you again, because of Didi! bwahaha!! Anyway, jokes aside, truly, thanks for all the words of encouragement, wise counsel and also shoulder to cry on when I felt defeated. Together-gether we shall share our happy endings, yeah? Don’t forget *wink*
Eileen – You’ve got super bionic persevering spirit, gal! Seeing you growing and loving God more everyday inspires me. It encourages me so much not to underestimate how God can touch lives through ordinary people. Though there may be times when you feel struck down, when you feel like you’re gonna fall, remember that God is “piggy-backing” you all the way. I wish we had more time. Every moment with you is treasured greatly. We’ll keep in touch, ok?
Fei –Your sweet gentle spirit always gave me an assurance that I’ve got someone to lean on to. Seeing how we pull things through together despite not knowing how, deepened my spirit to challenge myself even more in striving for the impossible. Thank you for supporting me when I felt that I couldn't do it. You have blessed me just by being who you are. Continue to trust in God's leading as He reveals your walkways to you. Though it maybe tough, remember that He's upholding you with His righteous right hand. I miss you already. =( And stop fiddling your ears! haha....
Jacqulin – You’re a beautiful creation crafted by God. You have a heart that cares a lot for people. You always show extra care and concern, you share others’ joys and pains. I truly admire how you persevered through your tough times and your openness to share about your thoughts of life. Your encouragement deepened my confidence to step into the unknown! Let me assure you again & again that God really, really loves you and He is not going to withhold anything good from those who loves Him. Thanks for the teddy bear angel. I will always remember your words when I'm down. Love you.
Joy – Your willingness to serve and love as a leader has blessed many lives - I am of course, one of the many. Like what you say before, never underestimate what God can do in one's life. Let’s just say.. you saved my life. You brought me to Him. I would never be who I am today if it wasn’t for you. I will just let my life speak for itself. Please, please keep in touch!! Love you lots.
Melissa – My pillar, my punching bag, my lifter, my inspiration in worship, walking bible dictionary, the one who slaps me in the face whenever I need it most...the list goes on. Twas an interesting journey thus far. Gonna miss those times when I can just get those bible insights “chicken soup” for the soul with just one phone call away. Thanks for the book you gave me. You always know what I need the most at the right time. As you go on your way and I go along with mine, let’s fix our eyes upon Jesus and let our little mustard seeds grow, yeah? Awaiting great testimonies from you. *Hugz*
Purity – Lovely, I can’t help but say that I miss those warm hugs and pecks on the cheek from you. There's this indescribable essence within you that really shines forth how God truly defines beauty. You’re one with a compassionate heart and I believe that you have a great capacity to love and care for people. Keep loving how you love. Since Atieno believes that I will eventually visit Kenya one day, I will most definitely see you again, yeah? =) *Hugz*
Rachel – Cheeky “baa baa..”, =D Leading you as a shepherd made me realize how important every sheep is to God. It amazes me how you saw things through the eyes of God. You showed me how every soul counted. Your “social engineering” skills can definitely be used greatly in God’s kingdom. You have a great capacity to lead. Don’t despise what you can do. Don’t bury your gifts. My encouragement to you is to listen, pay attention, and obey Him. I’ll hear from you soon, neighbour =) I LOVE YOU (corny, but I mean it!!).
Rose – 我的小羊。It’s been a great privilege having you as my first sheep. With you having so much eagerness to learn and grow, your ‘speed’ made me desire to grow faster and deeper, too! I am amazed by the compassionate spirit that you have for people and I am inspired by how much you are willing to sacrifice for people. When you are tired, go to a secret place and spend that quiet moment with God. Remember to always rest well and don't forget to do your pilates! I am entrusting my Fitness First membership to you. Must use ah!! Anyway, I am already missing our 3-hour shepherding lessons, “holy-chats”, “act-cute” moments etc. Keep in touch and I will drop by Taipei in future. I promise! Love you lots!!
Shuling – Shusy.. I love the way you always keep that smile on your face. It just brightens up a place (notice the photo?? so BRIGHT!! I think I need my sunnies! HAHAHA). There’s a positive spirit within you that always gives me this feeling of wanting to surrender hopes and dreams to God. Don’t know how to explain this, but I think you get what I mean. It just spells out in how you live your life for God. Keep shining for Him! Let’s minum Teh Tarik in KL, yeah?
Andy – Mermaid...!! Looks like we have something in common here. Haha!! Thanks for the countless car rides around Brisbane… (PS: you still owe me a ride to Mount Coot-tha!! hmph.) I promise you a ride in Malaysia…. (I believe u trust my driving skills since you entrusted me with your car along the roads to Melbourne?? Teehee..). I will most definitely miss your cooking, too! =( Abang Andy's masakan, bagus!! Be blessed, bro. Keep that faith in God!
Derrick – I will always remember the times when God allowed our friendship to deepen so greatly when we were faced with similar struggles. You have been my pillar of strength during those times. Your persevering spirit in becoming an overcomer made me spur on to become a fighter, too. Keep up that spirit of excellence in you. God’s gonna do great things through you. Mark my words. Oh yeah, I love you too. =)
Fendi – You may be a very quiet person in lifegroup, but I sense that you have a very enthusiastic heart in things that you are passionate about. Keep the passion for God burning. You were one of the first few friends I made in Brisbane. It’s amazing how God brought our friendship thus far. All the best, brother.
Ian – You always gave me an impression of a faith-filled listener. Although we don’t usually communicate much, I appreciate the way you attentively express your concerns as you take the initiative to speak. You are amazingly filled with wisdom. Continue to dig in deeper as you strive to discover the purpose of God in your life.
Jonathan – Amazing sensitive new age brother. I mean it in a good way, really! Your wits always amuse me. You give me an impression of someone who resembles both intelligence and creativity. Think… Shakespeare? Haha.. I dunno. It’s a pity that we didn’t have an opportunity to know each other more. Nonetheless, we will meet again, for sure. We just live across the borders. By the way, “Darling, I love you (in a sisterly way!) and here’s my smile =D. (teehee…you get what I mean.=P)
Sam – 大哥~~Thank you so much for being there for me when times are tough. I appreciate those times when you free-willingly allow me to use you as my “punching bag”. Thanks for bearing with me when I whinge. Don’t know whether I told you this before, remember the time I failed my driving test? I was at Toowong Village and I prayed for someone to give me a lift from discouragement. Amazingly, God brought you to me when I bumped into you. Let’s just say your presence easily creates joy into my spirit. I pray that one day, we'll meet again. I’m missing those late night walks already =(
Samuel – Hey macho bro, it's been a great 2 years with you in Brisbane. Funny how sometimes you try to read my mind but, let's just say you are not 100% right every time! Teehee =] My apologies for not taking the initiative to write a note for you for your cookie jar. How about let's put it like how you said it before, it's all in the heart. You know, I know-lah! True?? Be of good cheer, like what I told you, in life, there are 2 types of opportunity, 1) it just exists. 2) You create it. I believe there will be an *ahem* 'opportunity' for you to treat me to the countless meals you owe me.. nyahaha.. (hmm.. do I hear the 'pat toh yao' song singing somewhere...??) Who knows, perhaps our paths may cross again. See you at the other end of the world? hehe.. Till then........ =D
Sean – Seansie!!!! You’ve grown so..so..so much!!! Not only sideways (prosperity ok!!!) but upwards towards Godliness too!!! Your willingness to serve and desire to do great things for God’s kingdom elates my heart so much! Your indescribable spontaneity in cracking people up… gosh, classic joker of J7 – those hilarious moments with you around, I am so gonna miss!! Visit KL, Malaysia, truly Asia!! I will bring you go "kai kai".. in a err.. slightly bigger car. hehe..=D
And here... the whole bunch at the airport who sent me off..
All in all, thank you for being such a blessing in my life. The memories will always prevail in my heart. Goodbyes are not forever.Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you. Until we meet again!
Take care, everyone.
PS: My contact details are in the email.
Always a Seventeer at heart,
Miranda
The Entrance
Wey and I at the Sungai Tekun Bridge. We did some "jumping act" on it to *ahem* test its sustainability.
Putting our jumping skills to test...
Ahh...We've arrived at Teluk Duyung aka "Monkey Beach" and this is only halfway through.. *pant pant*
Oh no... obstacle ahead!! The tides were too high that day.... How are we gonna go past this 1-metre deep stream??
Taddaa!! Wey preparing for her jumping stunt.. Let's see whether this works..
Oops.. FAIL!!! Haha... Nah, we all made it but she missed it by 1/2 metre.. teeheee!!!
On to the next phase.. 600 steps to climb and some more trekking paths to conquer... (notice that "being" tapping her feet up there?? Size does not matter! Wey's petite but don't underestimate her stamina!!)
Finally, after almost 3 hours, we've made it to the top!! Yay!!
