"God wants you to give Him your best ” is a common statement. But what I consider my “best” is not always in line with what God calls best. “Giving your best to God” sounds cliché, but is a recurring theme throughout the bible. Examples that I could think of include, Abraham offering his son Isaac (Genesis 22), the widow who placed two small copper coins into the offering box (Luke 21:1-4), and Mary of Bethany who anointed the feet of Jesus with expensive ointment (John 12:3).
Much of these actions require sacrifices. Giving things most precious to them. I wonder, what would be the depth of sacrifice that I am willing to give to God? Sometimes I feel that I am doing God a big favour. When the greatest things in life aren't found in fame, stature, money, basically, the things that we usually want to have, then why is it so hard to give up to Him? The one that gave it all from the beginning? I struggle to express how I feel about it.
I feel restless and dissatisfied despite all that I am doing now. Am I living a life that's actually worthy of His calling? Or have I carelessly misplaced the devotion that I should have for Him in the midst of chasing my dreams and desires? The busyness of the months and years of my youth ticking past just with the blink of an eye almost as fast as a bullet train. The oxymoron of being contented yet dissatisfied comes into the picture, once again.
Living in my late 20s, I thought, perhaps giving my prime years to God before I "settle down", have a husband and 2.5 kids (by God's grace, that is!) could at least be the best that I can give to Him now. I actually had some things planned out in mind, I even crafted what I thought I'd do. The thought of full time ministry did cross my mind in the early years of my faith, but I still struggle with the idea of me doing this some day. I cannot imagine that day coming. Hmm... maybe next time.
God has His own sense of humour.
Just 2 months back, I was given an offer that I found it extremely hard to say yes to.
....I was offered a position to be a full time staff in church. (so soon?!)
Seriously? You'd probably change your mind if you really got to know the person underneath this skin. Sorry, I would likely disappoint you. I can be selfish enough to turn it down. I took almost 2 months to pray about it. Thinking of the possible 'what ifs' ahead. This wasn't what I was asking for. I had it all sort of planned out already. I know what works for me and what fits me best (At least I thought so!).
I thought I already had it all planned out. Since a few years back, I thought that one day I would go in full time with Generasi Gemilang (GG). Why did this offer had to come in the way to complicate things? I struggled between both choices. So I made plans to still go ahead to apply for a job in GG. On the day of the interview, I believed everything went well. But one thing that I didn't have when I walked out of the interview was... PEACE.
I struggled with that feeling inside of me asking myself why.
Most of the time, it's just so much easier to give Him my leftovers. It's easy to sing, "Lord I offer my life to You" but difficult to live it out. Does it actually matter? After all, everyone struggles with it and I am no different. Until when I am not so busy, I will devote more time for your work, God. I will only be a shepherd after I am a manager, God.
Then I remembered the scripture about Cain and Abel. I did a mini study about it and came about some insights about it.
“And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto Jehovah. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And Jehovah had respect unto Abel and to his offering: but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell” (Gen. 4:3-5).
Cain and Abel gave offerings to God. Cain gave God an offering from his garden and Abel from his flock.
Why was God not pleased with Cain's offering? Why did He prefer Abel's? After all, both of them did sacrifice something. Why was He so nit-picky about it? I would think that they gave to God what they could. But wait a minute, did they actually give their best to God? Was that really their personal best?
Then it struck me that God was actually looking at the condition of their hearts. Cain gave his leftovers (whatever he's comfortable with and convenient), Abel gave his everything. In line with that, I believe God was looking into my heart condition as well. When I say I want to give my best to God during my prime years, is going to GG my best? Or giving myself full time in church? Yes, working in GG and in church still serves similiar purposes, just like Cain and Abel's personal sacrifices, but what's the heart condition behind both?
Then I figured it out eventually.... in my personal condition, going to GG would not be "my best". That could be someone else's "best". But I know honestly that it's not my "best" for God. Going into the GG would be where I would feel comfortable and it's convenient. If I were to label myself, if I took that path this season, I would fall under the category of the many "Cains" of this world.
Though very difficult, I want to give an "Abel sacrifice".
Recently, a friend, Chia Yen passed away after battling lung cancer for slightly over a year. She left behind her husband and her beautiful 4-year-old daughter. She was only 32. Her death was an awakening for me when I observed the life that she lived since the days I knew her in my first church in Brisbane. She was a true shepherd to many and chose to serve full time in church as an administrator since she graduated. She held a Masters degree. After moving back to her home country in Singapore, she was attached to Focus on the Family. Though I don't know her very well, I followed her blog , despite her challenges in battling cancer, just by observing the way she lived her life, her obedience to just give her best years to God, that really stirred me even more in affirming the words that God instilled in me. Life can be so short. How would I know if I could actually live till I'm 40 and say that, "OK God, now I'm comfortable enough to serve you full time, so where were we at when we talked about this about 10+ years ago??" What if my time on the face of this earth ends at 32 years? During my final breaths, would I be regretting that I didn't just take this step to give my prime years to God? What if this season is all I have to give?
On Thursday, I did the unthinkable.
I submitted my resignation letter.
The irony, I felt a strong sense of relief and peace in me.
I knew I made the right choice.
Next year 2013, a new season and new momentum begins. The next two years of my life is dedicated to Him. I'm coming in to His house and my boss is literally that Big guy up in heaven!
In the eyes of the world, I may look like I am moving backward, but you know, sometimes moving backward is a way of moving forward in the eyes of God!
When I move "backwards", I take a step back from my "auto-piloted" life, I'm moving forward in my faith journey with God.
I'm nervous but yet, shoooo... excited at the same time!
A new chapter awaits!!
I don't know what the future holds but I trust and believe that when you give your best to God, He will not shortchange you.
Living in my late 20s, I thought, perhaps giving my prime years to God before I "settle down", have a husband and 2.5 kids (by God's grace, that is!) could at least be the best that I can give to Him now. I actually had some things planned out in mind, I even crafted what I thought I'd do. The thought of full time ministry did cross my mind in the early years of my faith, but I still struggle with the idea of me doing this some day. I cannot imagine that day coming. Hmm... maybe next time.
God has His own sense of humour.
Just 2 months back, I was given an offer that I found it extremely hard to say yes to.
....I was offered a position to be a full time staff in church. (so soon?!)
Seriously? You'd probably change your mind if you really got to know the person underneath this skin. Sorry, I would likely disappoint you. I can be selfish enough to turn it down. I took almost 2 months to pray about it. Thinking of the possible 'what ifs' ahead. This wasn't what I was asking for. I had it all sort of planned out already. I know what works for me and what fits me best (At least I thought so!).
I thought I already had it all planned out. Since a few years back, I thought that one day I would go in full time with Generasi Gemilang (GG). Why did this offer had to come in the way to complicate things? I struggled between both choices. So I made plans to still go ahead to apply for a job in GG. On the day of the interview, I believed everything went well. But one thing that I didn't have when I walked out of the interview was... PEACE.
I struggled with that feeling inside of me asking myself why.
Most of the time, it's just so much easier to give Him my leftovers. It's easy to sing, "Lord I offer my life to You" but difficult to live it out. Does it actually matter? After all, everyone struggles with it and I am no different. Until when I am not so busy, I will devote more time for your work, God. I will only be a shepherd after I am a manager, God.
Then I remembered the scripture about Cain and Abel. I did a mini study about it and came about some insights about it.
“And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto Jehovah. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And Jehovah had respect unto Abel and to his offering: but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell” (Gen. 4:3-5).
Cain and Abel gave offerings to God. Cain gave God an offering from his garden and Abel from his flock.
Why was God not pleased with Cain's offering? Why did He prefer Abel's? After all, both of them did sacrifice something. Why was He so nit-picky about it? I would think that they gave to God what they could. But wait a minute, did they actually give their best to God? Was that really their personal best?
Then it struck me that God was actually looking at the condition of their hearts. Cain gave his leftovers (whatever he's comfortable with and convenient), Abel gave his everything. In line with that, I believe God was looking into my heart condition as well. When I say I want to give my best to God during my prime years, is going to GG my best? Or giving myself full time in church? Yes, working in GG and in church still serves similiar purposes, just like Cain and Abel's personal sacrifices, but what's the heart condition behind both?
Then I figured it out eventually.... in my personal condition, going to GG would not be "my best". That could be someone else's "best". But I know honestly that it's not my "best" for God. Going into the GG would be where I would feel comfortable and it's convenient. If I were to label myself, if I took that path this season, I would fall under the category of the many "Cains" of this world.
Though very difficult, I want to give an "Abel sacrifice".
Recently, a friend, Chia Yen passed away after battling lung cancer for slightly over a year. She left behind her husband and her beautiful 4-year-old daughter. She was only 32. Her death was an awakening for me when I observed the life that she lived since the days I knew her in my first church in Brisbane. She was a true shepherd to many and chose to serve full time in church as an administrator since she graduated. She held a Masters degree. After moving back to her home country in Singapore, she was attached to Focus on the Family. Though I don't know her very well, I followed her blog , despite her challenges in battling cancer, just by observing the way she lived her life, her obedience to just give her best years to God, that really stirred me even more in affirming the words that God instilled in me. Life can be so short. How would I know if I could actually live till I'm 40 and say that, "OK God, now I'm comfortable enough to serve you full time, so where were we at when we talked about this about 10+ years ago??" What if my time on the face of this earth ends at 32 years? During my final breaths, would I be regretting that I didn't just take this step to give my prime years to God? What if this season is all I have to give?
On Thursday, I did the unthinkable.
I submitted my resignation letter.
The irony, I felt a strong sense of relief and peace in me.
I knew I made the right choice.
Next year 2013, a new season and new momentum begins. The next two years of my life is dedicated to Him. I'm coming in to His house and my boss is literally that Big guy up in heaven!
In the eyes of the world, I may look like I am moving backward, but you know, sometimes moving backward is a way of moving forward in the eyes of God!
When I move "backwards", I take a step back from my "auto-piloted" life, I'm moving forward in my faith journey with God.
I'm nervous but yet, shoooo... excited at the same time!
A new chapter awaits!!
I don't know what the future holds but I trust and believe that when you give your best to God, He will not shortchange you.
So, are you a Cain or an Abel in
your offerings to God??
(Psst.. btw, GG is still hiring, anyone here feels called to apply to go full time there? They are doing an awesome job in the community!! *winks* that could be your "best"... )
"Live everyday like it is your last.
Don't waste it, but steward the gift of life well.
Lose it to gain it back."
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:16-18
"JESUS IT IS YOU"
Music & Lyrics by Ben Manusama
Verse 1:
Who makes the sun to rise
And bring the earth new life in every beam
Jesus it is You
Who turns the day to night
And watches me as I begin to dream
Jesus it is You
Who brings me food for my table
Who cares for all of my needs
Who walks the road with me
Has grown with me
Through all that I have been
Jesus it is You
Jesus it is You
Chorus:
I lift my hands
I bring my song
All of my days
All of my rights, all of my wrongs
I offer my life
Here and beyond
To the One thing true
Jesus it is You
Verse 2:
Who sees my brokenness
And carries me when I am frail and weak
Jesus it is You
Who tells the storm to rest
When I am overwhelmed and cannot speak
Jesus it is You
Who wears my guilt on His shoulders
Who holds my heart in His hands
Who takes my thoughts and fears
And hangs them on the arms of Calvary
Jesus it is You
Jesus it is You
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